While were on the subject of Canada, I thought I'd enlighten you with some fun facts....
It is ILLEGAL to own a GUN in Canada! However, you are REQUIRED to own a SNOWMOBILE and a HAT WITH WOOLY EARFLAPS under PAIN of DEATH!
In both AMERICA and CANADA, a "bus" is a cheap form of public transport. However, in CANADA, it is also used to transport HORDES OF RABID BABOONS to the SLAUGHTERHOUSE to make POUTINE! Make sure you know which bus is which before boarding!
CANADIANS don't have a PRESIDENT! They have a "PRIME RIB"!
In CANADA, the capitol is called "Ottawa" because "Washington DC" was already taken!
There's a city in SASKATCHEWAN named MOOSE JAW! Do you believe that shit? What's up with that anyway??
When in Montreal, make friends by asking every passerby "Hey, Frenchy, where's the Eiffel Tower?"
Canadians do NOT pronounce "About" as if it were "Aboot"! In fact, the Canadian language DOES NOT HAVE THE WORD "ABOUT"! If a CANADIAN says "aboot," he probably means "a large shoe."
It is ILLEGAL in Canada to use the letter "O" without putting a "U" after it! (As in "Colour" or "Poutine" or "Filthy Whoure")
If you want to get the full attention of a waiter in MONTREAL, it's customary to speak in their native GERMAN and yell "Hey garcon whose tete is made of MERDE!" and throw a FORK at him. DO NOT THROW A SPOON--this is considered an insult!.
If a Canadian complains about AMERICA, scream "Margaret Trudeau was a SLUT!" and smile triumphantly at his baffled silence.
TORONTO is really in MICHIGAN!
In an average month, a CANADIAN makes TEN TIMES what the average AMERICAN makes! However, they are paid in CANADIAN BEAVER PELTS, so in real terms they actually make LESS than their own BEAVERS do!
In QUEBEC, where they speak GERMAN, "lycanthropes" are called "Loup Garoooooooooo!!" after the howling noise made by WOLFMEN! (or, as the Germans say, "L'Homme du Frommage")
In the wind-swept Atlantic Territories of the Atlantic, the dreaded lycanthropes are not wolves but the vicious FISH-MEN of NEWFOUNDLAND. In the cold light of the full moon, they turn into VICIOUS FISH, which just sort of flop around on the pier & die.
Most CANADIANS are FRIENDLY and PLEASANT to SPEAK WITH.
