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Anything & Everything
Stories
The Eye of the storm.
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<blockquote data-quote="Fladian" data-source="post: 107899" data-attributes="member: 5833"><p>I know what you mean, in a way. Though I usually am full with ideas, I find it hard to write them down. I can't find the right words for it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This came back, constantly. Though I may be mistaking, - which wouldn't be the first time - I doubt I am. As far as I know, it still remains 'horse', not 'hoarse.'</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>For me, it gave the story a twist, but not the necessary excitement you were probably aiming for. I, for one, could've seen it coming, that falls a little as a disappointment, though I yet wait for the next part.</p><p></p><p>On a little side note, the 'being farmer, that became king' is quite cliché, isn't it? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /></p><p></p><p>As for something else.</p><p></p><p>Try to make more use of comma's in several senteces. This is one of the sentences that could use a comma, as far as I know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fladian, post: 107899, member: 5833"] I know what you mean, in a way. Though I usually am full with ideas, I find it hard to write them down. I can't find the right words for it. This came back, constantly. Though I may be mistaking, - which wouldn't be the first time - I doubt I am. As far as I know, it still remains 'horse', not 'hoarse.' For me, it gave the story a twist, but not the necessary excitement you were probably aiming for. I, for one, could've seen it coming, that falls a little as a disappointment, though I yet wait for the next part. On a little side note, the 'being farmer, that became king' is quite cliché, isn't it? :P As for something else. Try to make more use of comma's in several senteces. This is one of the sentences that could use a comma, as far as I know. [/QUOTE]
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Anything & Everything
Stories
The Eye of the storm.
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