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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Fladian" data-source="post: 123490" data-attributes="member: 5833">For those who read my previous post and found it offensive, I think I owe them an apology. It is unlike me to apologize in public and actually mean it, (how often does that happen? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue    :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /> Though admitted that the last time wasn't all that long ago just yet) but I probably had an off moment. I already learned that I am starting to act a bit... strange when exposed to more heath than I'm used to. This heath-wave really isn't having a good effect on me. Note that inside the company (the place I work, red.) it has been more than 32 degrees celcius throughout most of the day. That probably affected me quite badly... and if that wasn't the case, then it was probably my new (well, not so new anymore, I guess) chief.("Why didn't you take the ice-cream?" - Me"I don't take anything he offers." - A colleague)Again, my apologies.Considering that she isn't dead, one of them would immediately fall. Two of them are, however, true. I made a somewhat different list though. But considering one of them is the result of the other, it is only logical.And believe me. There are things worse than a "painful death," some things I hope I'll never have to experience myself... considering this already hurts enough.You are free to do so, but it is a matter that is quite hard to guess. Not only is the problem quite deep and complicated (in the end), but it is mostly a chain reaction of several problems pilling up (and finally falling down) involving all the same people. If you can guess the details, you'd be psychic.Especially love is important for someone like her. For someone who got a train-load of horrible experiences right after each other is especially in need of someone to care fpr her. I said I would care for her, but I never offered my love... and she knows that. In the end, another 'person' (if I am using the right word) entered this mess, and that is the 'person' who... also... well, I mentioned it before; but I prefer not to keep repeating it. I do not like repeating a mistake that big.It is quite hard to chill out knowing that I am responsible for someone's death and after hearing a couple of things about it, Raiju. I am able to take tremendous amounts of stress and only broke down twice because of it (one of them being that my mother was in critical condition and I was stuck with my first hang over; happening one day after my 18th birthday). This situation, however, is the worst possible situation imaginable and I am out of options. I never would have involved other people if it didn't get this badly out of hand.This humor I am using (especially lately) is empty, Raiju. The quote of the days are also little things to remember the days by. Some people keep a diary, I merely keep a quote. Tomorrow I'll collect all quotes of those from my colleagues and what happened at work and report it to my boss, Ramon. After that, I am taking my leave and am going to enjoy my vacation 'till every single bit. Or at least, until the 16th of August, after that, all the mess is just going to get back where it was earlier.My life that matters most, so I am supposed to give up on all others? Turning my back to two people I care for the most and one person who cares for me? No, that is the last thing I am going to do. I always placed my self on a second spot, finding other people more important than myself. "What do I got to lose anyway," is always what I said. This changed dramatically throughout this year. The (my) feelings towards a specific girl are not playing a role in this matter, the feelings of other people towards me, however. Stepping out is going to hurt someone else more than that it is going to hurt me. Again, I place myself on the second place.As for your statement of "fuck them;" I already did.</blockquote>

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