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Curse of a loner
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<blockquote data-quote="Fladian" data-source="post: 121058" data-attributes="member: 5833"><p>I don't hang out with gothics (anymore). But if they are nice people, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment. Back at high school, there used to be a guy in our "group" that was a gothic, not to mention one of the two trouble makers of the school and one of the two students with most influence. Imagine this: the two students with most influence get into a fight with each other. Oh, and yes, that happened. The guy that was in our group, a friend, was kicked off school. Not justified, in my opinion. I still get mad when I think about it.</p><p>Anyway, considering his looks. Black nails, every finger (except for one, which I noticed back then) a ring or more... or something bigger (I never figured out what one of those things was, but it covered half of his hand), spiked wrist bands, face paint, strange hair cut and quite black-looking. But all in all, one of the most caring guys I've ever met in my life. It's unfortunate that his life went downhill after being kicked from school.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I started to regret my actions, therefore I wanted to change. When you are starting to regret every thing you do, then there is only one solution. If I never regret the things I did, I would've remained the same person as well. But by regretting things I did, I would become unhappy and if I would become unhappy, I would make the people around me unhappy as well. Perhaps I changed more in order to satisfy the people around me than myself.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I... understand what is meant with it, but despite I agree with it in general, it is not a very fitting quote for me. If I can make someone happy that involves me, no matter how much I have to endure, then it is something I am willing to do. I am a very caring person (a lot less when online), or maybe I was it. If I have to act "differently" in order to make someone happy that I care for, then my decision is quickly made. I don't care for many different people, but those I do care for, those are the people I am willing to do everything for. If that involves "living as someone else," then it is a price I am willing to pay. Just like I don't know what my real voice is anymore.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Like I said, that's because it is hard to understand for those who are more social than yourself. It is no big secret that a lot of doors open when being more social, because contacts immediately spread as well. For those who have been more social for all their lives have a hard time to understand how it would be not to be very social. It's like giving away a limb.</p><p>I can't imagine how I would act if I had to change from what I am now. I am extremely happy with how I am now, the only bad part about it is that I still don't have a(n official) girlfriend. I'm a type of guy that starts out quiet, but if you get me started (just like on the forum, come to think of it), you'll be finding a way to stop me from talking. Though my subjects outside the internet are often a tad more interesting than here online. Maybe that's because I'm more direct online than I am outside the internet.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Why thank you. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /></p><p></p><p>Perhaps it is being arrogant, but I consider my own true personality interesting and possible to write about. But despite seeing stories about a character with a similar personality, I never managed to finish one. The story I am writing for the Story Contest (read: 'Whatever walks here... walks alone') is about a character that shares a part of my personality as well, only a step or two further in the caring part.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fladian, post: 121058, member: 5833"] I don't hang out with gothics (anymore). But if they are nice people, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment. Back at high school, there used to be a guy in our "group" that was a gothic, not to mention one of the two trouble makers of the school and one of the two students with most influence. Imagine this: the two students with most influence get into a fight with each other. Oh, and yes, that happened. The guy that was in our group, a friend, was kicked off school. Not justified, in my opinion. I still get mad when I think about it. Anyway, considering his looks. Black nails, every finger (except for one, which I noticed back then) a ring or more... or something bigger (I never figured out what one of those things was, but it covered half of his hand), spiked wrist bands, face paint, strange hair cut and quite black-looking. But all in all, one of the most caring guys I've ever met in my life. It's unfortunate that his life went downhill after being kicked from school. I started to regret my actions, therefore I wanted to change. When you are starting to regret every thing you do, then there is only one solution. If I never regret the things I did, I would've remained the same person as well. But by regretting things I did, I would become unhappy and if I would become unhappy, I would make the people around me unhappy as well. Perhaps I changed more in order to satisfy the people around me than myself. I... understand what is meant with it, but despite I agree with it in general, it is not a very fitting quote for me. If I can make someone happy that involves me, no matter how much I have to endure, then it is something I am willing to do. I am a very caring person (a lot less when online), or maybe I was it. If I have to act "differently" in order to make someone happy that I care for, then my decision is quickly made. I don't care for many different people, but those I do care for, those are the people I am willing to do everything for. If that involves "living as someone else," then it is a price I am willing to pay. Just like I don't know what my real voice is anymore. Like I said, that's because it is hard to understand for those who are more social than yourself. It is no big secret that a lot of doors open when being more social, because contacts immediately spread as well. For those who have been more social for all their lives have a hard time to understand how it would be not to be very social. It's like giving away a limb. I can't imagine how I would act if I had to change from what I am now. I am extremely happy with how I am now, the only bad part about it is that I still don't have a(n official) girlfriend. I'm a type of guy that starts out quiet, but if you get me started (just like on the forum, come to think of it), you'll be finding a way to stop me from talking. Though my subjects outside the internet are often a tad more interesting than here online. Maybe that's because I'm more direct online than I am outside the internet. Why thank you. :P Perhaps it is being arrogant, but I consider my own true personality interesting and possible to write about. But despite seeing stories about a character with a similar personality, I never managed to finish one. The story I am writing for the Story Contest (read: 'Whatever walks here... walks alone') is about a character that shares a part of my personality as well, only a step or two further in the caring part. [/QUOTE]
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