DigitalSword
New Member
L&G
Howdy, This is hard to explain but ill do my best, the past 6 months has been pretty rugged for me, i got caught in debt, letf my apt to come ack home, had to quit college for money, got in a bad accident that suspended my liscense(i wasnt drinking, im not dumb, just unlucky) lost my girl and eventually got in trouble with local governemtns that landed me in jail, recooperating from all of this has been a very logn road, and through my being stuck at my parents house at age 21, losing my friends daily it seems, ive been going crazy, small fits of anger have been eating me up inside, and i think you could set me on stage as a prime example of depression at its finest, Wow, I admitted it. Watching my 2 brothers and 2 sisters grow up these past 6 months is rough cause i see alot of me in them, and being the big brother i gotta set them good examples, and ive seen too many arguments my mom & dad have, which of course i get invovlved in now, which just pushes the cue. My computer skills were and still are my savior, its the only thing ive been good at for quite some time, and i love technology and learning about it, no its not just technology, its everything, i love it all, but i feel so trapped just working and playign cz all day till 3AM. I dont want to be that kind of person(r00tw0rm) who shoots up a courthouse or commits suicide or blows up the pentagon or in an act of false heroics join the military or some shit like that, and i feel that one of those roads was one i would surely going to take. I want to be happy again, I want to taste freedom and independance again. Im not saying that CZ or the internet made me this way, certainly not, people choose there actions to that there is no question, I am saying however that My time spent here is somehwat illspent, and that CZ is a very Large Buffer of (thankfully)blocking me from my mistakes and then also keeeping me from resolving them. My family is going to disneyland and i am not. I chose to stay behind and watch the house, ive never been to disney and it hurt alot to say no but i figure it would be a starting point for me to recover, and ill surprise them by cleanigng the shit out of our house, and now my girl and I are talking again! and I want it to work out. So, I guess this is it, I am relinquishing the sword to the sheath, I am Retiring from CS, for the latter of better things to come.
I miss my friends, a real job, my independance and satsifaction of completing things,my life in a whole, i miss being happy, pursueing women and getting fucked up for the hell of it instead of a nite of socialness with the guys i only see once a month.
But I will miss nothing more than all of you, I will remember my days here very much so for the you guys in fact have saved me. And I hold our very virtual relationships dear to my heart and mind, Ill never forget my first game at punx and there was good ole worm and puppet talking and bickering out strategies like old geezers, and it made me smile cause i pictured them in my mind as very kind respectable people, which they surely turned out to be, and i now hold mad respect for both of you, knuckleheads :wink: I want to thank all the PuNx for leetting me play here, cause it was damn awesome games we have played, and thanks to the PBR guys for letting me join and help form {KoT} which i regrettably must also retire from. {KoT} is a great bunch of guys, as are you all, and i hope you all understand what i mean. I love all you guys and Hopefully ill drop in and tlak soon =) I wis you the best of life in either case. :wink:
alas, Carpe Diem
and Good Hunting
and much love
Bob Burkett 8)
aka
|)igitalSwor|)=][=====>
:twisted: {KoT} - {|)igitalSwor|)} -
:twisted:
Howdy, This is hard to explain but ill do my best, the past 6 months has been pretty rugged for me, i got caught in debt, letf my apt to come ack home, had to quit college for money, got in a bad accident that suspended my liscense(i wasnt drinking, im not dumb, just unlucky) lost my girl and eventually got in trouble with local governemtns that landed me in jail, recooperating from all of this has been a very logn road, and through my being stuck at my parents house at age 21, losing my friends daily it seems, ive been going crazy, small fits of anger have been eating me up inside, and i think you could set me on stage as a prime example of depression at its finest, Wow, I admitted it. Watching my 2 brothers and 2 sisters grow up these past 6 months is rough cause i see alot of me in them, and being the big brother i gotta set them good examples, and ive seen too many arguments my mom & dad have, which of course i get invovlved in now, which just pushes the cue. My computer skills were and still are my savior, its the only thing ive been good at for quite some time, and i love technology and learning about it, no its not just technology, its everything, i love it all, but i feel so trapped just working and playign cz all day till 3AM. I dont want to be that kind of person(r00tw0rm) who shoots up a courthouse or commits suicide or blows up the pentagon or in an act of false heroics join the military or some shit like that, and i feel that one of those roads was one i would surely going to take. I want to be happy again, I want to taste freedom and independance again. Im not saying that CZ or the internet made me this way, certainly not, people choose there actions to that there is no question, I am saying however that My time spent here is somehwat illspent, and that CZ is a very Large Buffer of (thankfully)blocking me from my mistakes and then also keeeping me from resolving them. My family is going to disneyland and i am not. I chose to stay behind and watch the house, ive never been to disney and it hurt alot to say no but i figure it would be a starting point for me to recover, and ill surprise them by cleanigng the shit out of our house, and now my girl and I are talking again! and I want it to work out. So, I guess this is it, I am relinquishing the sword to the sheath, I am Retiring from CS, for the latter of better things to come.
I miss my friends, a real job, my independance and satsifaction of completing things,my life in a whole, i miss being happy, pursueing women and getting fucked up for the hell of it instead of a nite of socialness with the guys i only see once a month.
But I will miss nothing more than all of you, I will remember my days here very much so for the you guys in fact have saved me. And I hold our very virtual relationships dear to my heart and mind, Ill never forget my first game at punx and there was good ole worm and puppet talking and bickering out strategies like old geezers, and it made me smile cause i pictured them in my mind as very kind respectable people, which they surely turned out to be, and i now hold mad respect for both of you, knuckleheads :wink: I want to thank all the PuNx for leetting me play here, cause it was damn awesome games we have played, and thanks to the PBR guys for letting me join and help form {KoT} which i regrettably must also retire from. {KoT} is a great bunch of guys, as are you all, and i hope you all understand what i mean. I love all you guys and Hopefully ill drop in and tlak soon =) I wis you the best of life in either case. :wink:
alas, Carpe Diem
and Good Hunting
and much love
Bob Burkett 8)
aka
|)igitalSwor|)=][=====>
:twisted: {KoT} - {|)igitalSwor|)} -
:twisted:
digi...*sniffle* still talk to me on AIM? I'll miss you *sniffle* your awesome and i loved playing with you...hope your not away for too long.