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<blockquote data-quote="Fladian" data-source="post: 127887" data-attributes="member: 5833"><p>Not really. People always tend to think of excuses, but next for the holidays and some specific days of the year (think of birthdays, going on vacation, etc.), people can always just make room for a few minutes. Otherwise a lot of entertainment for free time wouldn't even have existed. =) </p><p></p><p></p><p>Well, I'm somewhat older than you are. Some years, nothing special.</p><p></p><p>But regardless, when I was 18 I had a lot of contacts too. But most of them ended up being skin deep. When I actually found out I could use their help, they didn't seem to be as useful as I hoped, thought or expected. The people I referred to now already proved several times to be useful in the way I expected, or thought them to be. </p><p> Although I'll be checking up on some in a few months. I'm intending to move out, preferrably heading to a house instead of a "dorm" (of some kind; it's not completely similar). Unfortunately I live in overpopulated city in an overpopulated country, so getting one for a reasonable price (at a reasonably distance from my school, job and preferably friends, although that's optional) is hard work. But then it's a good thing when you imagine that I worked for a real-estate and a friend of mine has some very solid contacts from there too. It might just be the little bit of help I need to get through.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Well, that's better than me. I stick too long with it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It's not mine. A friend, if I can call her that, said it. Ironically it was said when she was quite depressed. That might be the only time I can remember she was actually a bit quiet.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You said earlier that you would be willing to extend a hand to help for just about anyone, if I recall right. However you also refused to call everyone you 'want' or 'could' help friends. It's a little confusing here.</p><p></p><p>But the fact does remain that romantic-feelings and 'want-to' feelings can be quite different from reality, as you concluded yourself. If I was able to, I'd gladly would have said (and did) that I would take all the responsibility if something would happen to a specific friend of mine. But although I would want to, I can't. Despite that I have proved in the past a couple of times that I can function properly - and sometimes better - when I am given a lot of responsibility, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I like it. Taking the responsibility of something that would happen is not a realistic goal that I would set for myself, just like saying 'I'll call all my friends to ask them to go out,' which is something unrealistic for me too. If you aren't aware of it, I am afraid of calling people by phone - though not when I am just picking up the phone when someone else is calling. Although this fear has decreased dramatically over the past year and a half, thanks to three friends in particular and my current boss.</p><p></p><p></p><p>When someone's life is in danger people, who look at them selves highly, often name things they would do. They might be very realistic things to do for them under normal circumstances, but under the pressure of something like that, the most people crumble under pressure. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Well, that's remarkable. Such feelings tend to come during the puberty, which you've reached for some time now. :wink: But it's good that you're not concerned with it. =) </p><p></p><p>But it's not like I have been all that successful in love. I've only had one girlfriend and the relationship wasn't really one that's worth telling about. Although I do remember it fondly. I've been single for quite some time now though. Unfortunately, when I was your age, I was unable to seperate love, or lust, with my school-life, which was quite bad for me. But hey, I made it. =P </p><p></p><p>And no, it's not like you're crazy.</p><p></p><p></p><p>That's one to think about. It's one a collegue asked me earlier this week as well. He couldn't imagine that I chose a girl above my best friend - a choice that I never regretted. But upon the answer why I would choose her over him - because I was not in love with her - I could not find anything fitting, or at least anything that would satisfy him, except that I agreed more with the principes of the girl than of my best friend. </p><p></p><p>But I can't answer your question, simply because I do not know. I never understood either why one of my best guy-friends is <em>even</em> a friend. We hardly have anything in common, we absolutely do not agree with each other's principes and disapprove of each other's behavior. The only thing we <em>do</em> have in common are our ambitions and mentality - we have our mind set on a few things and we are both determined to reach it. And a week ago I confessed to our group of friends: "He and I are both a sucker for nice and beautiful girls." (which is true; but I was clearly referring to a friend in particular)</p><p></p><p></p><p>I wish I could say the same thing, but I'm afraid that would be idealism, as you said. It is so very easy to take advantage of someone when they offer it and you're only even a little bit lazy, tired of just not in the mood. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I can relate to that, but that's also quickly affiliated with being naive. </p><p></p><p></p><p>That's just the point. There will be numerous times when it is hard, or even impossible to see when someone is taking advantage of you. I've worked at a real-estate office in which I had much connections with customers. Some seemed very desperate and often touched me on my soft side, which made me either pity them or simply just made me feel sorry and I got the urge to want to help them. I now work for a lawyer at a lawyer's office and I talk to clients more than ever before. The lawyer I work for is (partly) specialized in crime-law, which involes going to court for clients that have comitted a crime. It varies how big the crime is. Daily I have contact with a high number of clients that all want to talk to the lawyer. Some do this by getting angry, others by remaining calm and friendly. Naturally I prefer the second - we all do. But eitherway, they will do practically anything to talk to the lawyer (or get out of prison). I think you get my point.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Trust me on one thing, but just on my word. Being experienced in many things is not always a good thing and can actually be <em>quite</em> annoying. Although in theory you're completely right... it's just unfortunate and theory is not always similar to the real life.</p><p></p><p></p><p>That's what most people say. I didn't like drinking for a very long time either. Until last year, I didn't even like beer. Now I drink it (at the very least) weekly.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Doesn't sound unusual. What makes you think that?</p><p></p><p>Or were you referring to function under pressure or under influence? I am <em>extremely</em> good under pressure and most influental things don't get me very clouded minded. Or at least, not as fast as most. Drugs work pretty much similar to alcohol for me... and yes, I've tried. I've been active with it in the past, although I won't touch it anymore. The last time has been <em>years</em> ago.</p><p></p><p></p><p>That I <em>do</em> respect. I have lived my life with regrets. I have been very unsocial for about eightteen years. Despite that I had great friends, I didn't talk that much or often feel very comfortable. I was very shy and even more insecure than I was shy. I was <em>not</em> outgoing and I hardly went out. I also was more than 30 centimers shorter than I am now and I had long hair. </p><p></p><p>Nowadays I am very social and I keep surprising old friends how easily I approach new people and talk to others. I am still very happy with my new <em>and</em> old friends, I talk more than I sometimes should and I feel much better than in the past. I am not very shy anymore and I am very secure and self confident. I became very outgoing and I go out once or twice a week (this being more related to my financial picture than the fact whether I want or not). I grew a lot in a very short period of time (during my 18 - 19 years) and I have short hair nowadays and considering of shaving my head bald coming summer, although I still need to discuss this with a friend.</p><p></p><p>But I regret those first eightteen years of my life. I'm now some years older and I am bend on not regretting anything anymore. But that's, of course, easier said than done.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Great to hear. Already feel like an old man? :wink:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fladian, post: 127887, member: 5833"] Not really. People always tend to think of excuses, but next for the holidays and some specific days of the year (think of birthdays, going on vacation, etc.), people can always just make room for a few minutes. Otherwise a lot of entertainment for free time wouldn't even have existed. =) Well, I'm somewhat older than you are. Some years, nothing special. But regardless, when I was 18 I had a lot of contacts too. But most of them ended up being skin deep. When I actually found out I could use their help, they didn't seem to be as useful as I hoped, thought or expected. The people I referred to now already proved several times to be useful in the way I expected, or thought them to be. Although I'll be checking up on some in a few months. I'm intending to move out, preferrably heading to a house instead of a "dorm" (of some kind; it's not completely similar). Unfortunately I live in overpopulated city in an overpopulated country, so getting one for a reasonable price (at a reasonably distance from my school, job and preferably friends, although that's optional) is hard work. But then it's a good thing when you imagine that I worked for a real-estate and a friend of mine has some very solid contacts from there too. It might just be the little bit of help I need to get through. Well, that's better than me. I stick too long with it. It's not mine. A friend, if I can call her that, said it. Ironically it was said when she was quite depressed. That might be the only time I can remember she was actually a bit quiet. You said earlier that you would be willing to extend a hand to help for just about anyone, if I recall right. However you also refused to call everyone you 'want' or 'could' help friends. It's a little confusing here. But the fact does remain that romantic-feelings and 'want-to' feelings can be quite different from reality, as you concluded yourself. If I was able to, I'd gladly would have said (and did) that I would take all the responsibility if something would happen to a specific friend of mine. But although I would want to, I can't. Despite that I have proved in the past a couple of times that I can function properly - and sometimes better - when I am given a lot of responsibility, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I like it. Taking the responsibility of something that would happen is not a realistic goal that I would set for myself, just like saying 'I'll call all my friends to ask them to go out,' which is something unrealistic for me too. If you aren't aware of it, I am afraid of calling people by phone - though not when I am just picking up the phone when someone else is calling. Although this fear has decreased dramatically over the past year and a half, thanks to three friends in particular and my current boss. When someone's life is in danger people, who look at them selves highly, often name things they would do. They might be very realistic things to do for them under normal circumstances, but under the pressure of something like that, the most people crumble under pressure. Well, that's remarkable. Such feelings tend to come during the puberty, which you've reached for some time now. :wink: But it's good that you're not concerned with it. =) But it's not like I have been all that successful in love. I've only had one girlfriend and the relationship wasn't really one that's worth telling about. Although I do remember it fondly. I've been single for quite some time now though. Unfortunately, when I was your age, I was unable to seperate love, or lust, with my school-life, which was quite bad for me. But hey, I made it. =P And no, it's not like you're crazy. That's one to think about. It's one a collegue asked me earlier this week as well. He couldn't imagine that I chose a girl above my best friend - a choice that I never regretted. But upon the answer why I would choose her over him - because I was not in love with her - I could not find anything fitting, or at least anything that would satisfy him, except that I agreed more with the principes of the girl than of my best friend. But I can't answer your question, simply because I do not know. I never understood either why one of my best guy-friends is [i]even[/i] a friend. We hardly have anything in common, we absolutely do not agree with each other's principes and disapprove of each other's behavior. The only thing we [i]do[/i] have in common are our ambitions and mentality - we have our mind set on a few things and we are both determined to reach it. And a week ago I confessed to our group of friends: "He and I are both a sucker for nice and beautiful girls." (which is true; but I was clearly referring to a friend in particular) I wish I could say the same thing, but I'm afraid that would be idealism, as you said. It is so very easy to take advantage of someone when they offer it and you're only even a little bit lazy, tired of just not in the mood. I can relate to that, but that's also quickly affiliated with being naive. That's just the point. There will be numerous times when it is hard, or even impossible to see when someone is taking advantage of you. I've worked at a real-estate office in which I had much connections with customers. Some seemed very desperate and often touched me on my soft side, which made me either pity them or simply just made me feel sorry and I got the urge to want to help them. I now work for a lawyer at a lawyer's office and I talk to clients more than ever before. The lawyer I work for is (partly) specialized in crime-law, which involes going to court for clients that have comitted a crime. It varies how big the crime is. Daily I have contact with a high number of clients that all want to talk to the lawyer. Some do this by getting angry, others by remaining calm and friendly. Naturally I prefer the second - we all do. But eitherway, they will do practically anything to talk to the lawyer (or get out of prison). I think you get my point. Trust me on one thing, but just on my word. Being experienced in many things is not always a good thing and can actually be [i]quite[/i] annoying. Although in theory you're completely right... it's just unfortunate and theory is not always similar to the real life. That's what most people say. I didn't like drinking for a very long time either. Until last year, I didn't even like beer. Now I drink it (at the very least) weekly. Doesn't sound unusual. What makes you think that? Or were you referring to function under pressure or under influence? I am [i]extremely[/i] good under pressure and most influental things don't get me very clouded minded. Or at least, not as fast as most. Drugs work pretty much similar to alcohol for me... and yes, I've tried. I've been active with it in the past, although I won't touch it anymore. The last time has been [i]years[/i] ago. That I [i]do[/i] respect. I have lived my life with regrets. I have been very unsocial for about eightteen years. Despite that I had great friends, I didn't talk that much or often feel very comfortable. I was very shy and even more insecure than I was shy. I was [i]not[/i] outgoing and I hardly went out. I also was more than 30 centimers shorter than I am now and I had long hair. Nowadays I am very social and I keep surprising old friends how easily I approach new people and talk to others. I am still very happy with my new [i]and[/i] old friends, I talk more than I sometimes should and I feel much better than in the past. I am not very shy anymore and I am very secure and self confident. I became very outgoing and I go out once or twice a week (this being more related to my financial picture than the fact whether I want or not). I grew a lot in a very short period of time (during my 18 - 19 years) and I have short hair nowadays and considering of shaving my head bald coming summer, although I still need to discuss this with a friend. But I regret those first eightteen years of my life. I'm now some years older and I am bend on not regretting anything anymore. But that's, of course, easier said than done. Great to hear. Already feel like an old man? :wink: [/QUOTE]
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