Weekend

[Fladian]

The moment I am creating this thread is the moment my weekend officially started. It's friday, it's a goo... *looks outside and sees a lot of rain*... there is some decent weather and you are free to say that I had the worst week in months (if not years). So what is the best thing to do in my opinion? Make sure the day ends as fast as possible.

*uhhum*
Anyway, there is a weekend every five days. Do you guys have any plans for a beautiful weekend up ahead? If so, please do share.

My weekend is going to be as chaotic as the past few weeks. Since I made an agenda, I have been crowded with appointments. I wonder if it's coincidence or that I used to forget all kinds of appointments. Besides that, I mostly overcame my "phone phobia", which surely plays a role too.
Anyway, it's friday and I had a bad week. Literally (and I am not exaggerating!) everything has gone wrong this week; to name some examples, I started argueing with a friend, I messed a lot of things up at work, I even burned myself! To make matters worse, because of this all (and far more) I am in very low spirits. To conclude it all, my favorite football team was beaten in the Cup and I had a serious reality check from my brother about my English.
Free to say that I had a bad week. So what is the best solution in my opinion? End it as soon as possible. I'm going to drink - hard. According to my agenda I still have to call a friend tonight. I'll call her alright, I just won't guarantee that I'll be sober. As a matter of fact, chances are quite slim that I'll be sober. But then again, if I can't muster up the courage to call her the normal way, then I'll use something to aid me.

Saturday seems less appealing to me. I'll be leaving to a foreign country not too long from now and I need a suit. I don't like suits, they don't look good on me. My good friends all agree that I would look terrible in a suit while all my lesser good friends (but still friends), or rather, people that don't know me as well as my good friends, think it would look good on me. Confusing, but I trust my good friends more.
I'll be shopping with my mother. That isn't much of a problem, except that she's slow. She's old, she uses tons of medicines and she has equipment to help her keep walking long distances. Why ask her along, you may wonder. Well, the answer is simple: She has more money than I have. The last bit of money I have right now is going straight to the beer and coffee... tonight.

Sunday is going to be a chaotic day according to my agenda. According to my agenda I have to call the person I am currently not on good terms with. Although it is mostly me who is mad at her than she at me. Quite typical, because such things rarely happen. People tend to be mad at me, instead of me at them. It has a few !!!'s behind it, so I assume I placed them there to refer that it's urgent. Typical, I have a giant sized document of quotes of people that has been more successful than anything I have ever attempted in entire my life, but I can't seem to remember why I put things in my agenda. You ought to think that something is wrong with me.

Anyway, how is your weekend going to look like? Hopefully better than mine.

 

[edwinfong25]

well, i haven't really much to say, lol

i mean, compared to what you've put... lol

well, my weekend at the moment is completely unplanned...
although i do know that there wont be any beer involved, lol (nor coffee for that matter)
probably not much social interactions either... other than via my computer, i'd think, lol

i will say though... I've a kinda bad feeling about the weekend, lol
but i'm sure that it'll wear off and just end up being me doing absolutely nothing and then looking back that there was a bunch of stuff that i should have done instead of squandering all my time, lol

well, good luck to you
i hope that your agenda goes better than planned (maybe even a little off-track, a little surprise could always be helpful to keep things unpredictable... as long as it doesn't prove to be more of an impeding factor...)

 

[Fladian]

Honestly Edwin (bleh, it's quite disturbing for me to call you that), I used to never plan things either. Since the first of December 2007 I have been keeping an agenda. It was mostly made because my notebook was full (I keep a lot of notes, it seems chaotic, but I know where to find everything), but also on request. But since I made that thing, I keep getting swamped with appointments. Not that I mind them that much, actually, I kinda like it.

As for social interaction, well, get away from your computer. :wink: It sure can't hurt, no?

As for my own weekend. I expected my Friday night to end up not being too great either. Fortunately I was wrong. Despite that most people decided to cancel an hour after we assembled (by not showing up and contacting us an hour later), it was still fun with the few people we were with. We ended up being with the fives of us.
Despite that it's still winter (arguably when looked at the weather and temprature) we discussed our summer vacation in full detail and the studying abroad. Although the main subject was 'our' love-life, something we all seem to problems with... apparently. Although in my case it's kinda obvious what's wrong with me. I mean, honestly, do you take things like this serious:
"I'm not sure what's making me hot. My beer... or you."
Oh, and yes, that's what I really said in a non-joking way. It was referring to one of my friends who was dressed quite attractively that night.

The night was in general a success. It was fun as always and we all learned some interesting things. I also learned how painful my nose can feel. At the end of the night I wanted to kiss one of my friends, but I didn't notice she just turned her head, so we had a headbutt. Because I'm a little taller than her, I had my face directed downwards. My nose still hurts.

The only down side of the night is that I am unsure of one specific thing happened... or that I dreamed it. It won't cause me sleepless nights, but if it did happen, then the chances are very likely it will be the best quote of this month. But whether it happened or not, I'll make sure it happens again.

As for that "little surprise" you mentioned, what exactly are you referring to? =)

 

[edwinfong25]

well, would you rather call me by a different name? lol? (Edwin Fong is indeed my real name, lol)
("hey you" can be acceptable if there's no one else around and you dont mind the few seconds delay that it'll take for me to notice that you're referring to me, lol)

lol, well, it's not so much that i dont plan things, lol
i think that it's more so that i am forgetful...
so as such it's nearly the same as not planning, lol

lol, perhaps so...
but just getting away from the computer is not really the problem, lol
i think that its more of what i'd do from there on, lol (i haven't a multitude of friends (very picky when it comes to calling someone a friend))
plus i'm not exactly the center of attention usually, lol (pretty much isolated from others, lol)
mind you, don't get me wrong, lol, from my description i'd sound like i was describing a psychopath, lol (someone who is highly anti-social towards others)
i dont mind going out, meeting people, hanging out with friends (i tend to hang out with my friends a lot actually), but i'd say that my downfall is the lack of being outgoing, lol

well, i'm glad that everything worked out well overall, lol
except for your nose... i hope that gets better, lol

any "surprises" lol
anything outside of the ordinary (hopefully stuff that can lift your spirits when you need it and stuff)
such as when you've got to go to some kind of engagement, but you dont feel like it, but something happens there that changes your mind and makes you enjoy the whole event
a surprise, a twist, lol, something unplanned
(i'm looking for one which may occur tomorrow, lol)
well, after the weekend shouldn't be too bad, lol (birthday's coming up on monday... so i'll see most of my friends on that day, lol)

 

[Fladian]

well, would you rather call me by a different name?

I may consider that. :wink:
'Edwin' is the first name of the man I idolize but it is also almost similar to my real name. And I've always felt it was awkward to call someone with the same name as myself. Besides that, for over eightteen years I have been called 'Ed' instead of by my real name. Not only by friends, but also by teachers. That time is over, but I still respond to that name. So it just feels weird.

Not to mention that I use "Edwin." as a nickname on a different forum because 'Random' was taken and Fladian... well... I had my reasons.

lol, well, it's not so much that i dont plan things, lol
i think that it's more so that i am forgetful...
so as such it's nearly the same as not planning, lol

Being forgetful can be worked at. I'm quite forgetful myself, that's one of the reasons (although a very small one) why I keep the QotD. Because I need to remember things daily, I improve my memory slightly. Nonetheless, I do have a friend that has a tendacy to forget appointments. You can invite him at 1 o'clock in the afternoon while it's 11 in the morning and he would still forget about it. He isn't doing such things on purpose, but he really tends to forget them almost instantly.
I remember a time when he and I were classmates. I invited him to come over after school; however when school was over, he approached me and asked if I wanted to hang out. He completely forgot about it. That was quite common, considering he's (one of) my best friend.
Although I did hear that his girlfriend is working on that bad memory of his...

i think that its more of what i'd do from there on, lol (i haven't a multitude of friends (very picky when it comes to calling someone a friend))

04/04/07 "When is someone really a friend." The Quote of the Month of April '07. One of the biggest contenders for the Quote of the Year of '07. It could start an entire discussion, and it did for me when the person I quoted asked me that.

Nonetheless, in the country I live, we rarely use the word "acquaintance" (I hate that word), because the only word we have for it is very informal and simply often sounds rude. So we tend to call people friends quite quick. However that doesn't mean that I have tons of 'real' friends. When my group of "friends" is completely when we go out, you are free to say that we are with about sixteen people, if not more. But if you then ask me who I consider a "friend", I can only name three or four. All others are nice people, but I don't think it are the kind of people I can relly on when something would happen and I think I would have at least a second of hesitation to help them when they need help, if you get what I mean. I don't have that with the other three/four.

Although those three, or four people have something ironic. I disliked one of them one and a half year ago, and I avoided contact with another one of them for a complete year because I really couldn't stand her. Nowadays we're the best of friends. But if any of those three would need help, I'll run over, no doubt. Heck, I mean we visited one of them during Christmas because he was 'enjoying' Christmas on his own alone at home. We thought it was sad, so we visited him... and ended up talking about politics...

plus i'm not exactly the center of attention usually, lol (pretty much isolated from others, lol)
mind you, don't get me wrong, lol, from my description i'd sound like i was describing a psychopath, lol (someone who is highly anti-social towards others)

You don't need to always be in the spotlight. I rarely stand in the spotlight, except when the major moodmaker of the group is absent, which he really is. Three friends and I are always there, which means that I hardly ever have to take over his role. You don't have to be in the centre of attention to have a great time. As for being isolated, well, you can do something about that.

And no, I don't think of you as a pyschopath. Keep in mind that I used to be quite shy. Besides that, I have been talking about a friend of mine that still seems to have some minor social problems. He seems to have problems with starting the conversation and keep subjects rolling. When he is nearing the end of his subjects to talk about - he panics.
I also know anti-social people, but those are a different story (and aren't invited to our (almost weekly) drinking-nights).

well, i'm glad that everything worked out well overall, lol
except for your nose... i hope that gets better, lol

My nose feels a lot better now, thank you. I just don't think it's a moment I'll forget easily... nor she. I'm usually kissed by her, not me kissing her, although I have been hinting to do that numerous times. "Yes, that's right. Look a little further to the right. Oh, move your purse, so I can get close. Just a little more to the right and then... yes... Ouch! Almost."

Or the raging discussion between a friend and myself. He has a girlfriend and loyal to her, so he tried to make an impossible comparison between himself, me and a friend of ours. "In that case, I would already have kissed <name> on the lips." It caught us all a bit off guard when he said that, but my answer was completely spontanous and didn't leave any of them waiting for the shortest second. "Of course, but so would I."
Out of embarassment she shouted my name, stood up and left to the bathroom.

any "surprises" lol
anything outside of the ordinary (hopefully stuff that can lift your spirits when you need it and stuff)

Well, I know what a surprise is. But I thought you were referring to something in particular.

well, after the weekend shouldn't be too bad, lol (birthday's coming up on monday... so i'll see most of my friends on that day, lol)

Well, if you read it on time that is: Congratulations with your uh... birthday. I hope you'll have a great day.

-Fladian

 

[edwinfong25]

I may consider that. :wink:
'Edwin' is the first name of the man I idolize but it is also almost similar to my real name. And I've always felt it was awkward to call someone with the same name as myself. Besides that, for over eightteen years I have been called 'Ed' instead of by my real name. Not only by friends, but also by teachers. That time is over, but I still respond to that name. So it just feels weird.

Not to mention that I use "Edwin." as a nickname on a different forum because 'Random' was taken and Fladian... well... I had my reasons.

oh, lol, well, it's np
i mean, at this rate you could call me by practically any name and i should know that its referring to me since there's not many others talking, lol

Being forgetful can be worked at. I'm quite forgetful myself, that's one of the reasons (although a very small one) why I keep the QotD. Because I need to remember things daily, I improve my memory slightly. Nonetheless, I do have a friend that has a tendacy to forget appointments. You can invite him at 1 o'clock in the afternoon while it's 11 in the morning and he would still forget about it. He isn't doing such things on purpose, but he really tends to forget them almost instantly.
I remember a time when he and I were classmates. I invited him to come over after school; however when school was over, he approached me and asked if I wanted to hang out. He completely forgot about it. That was quite common, considering he's (one of) my best friend.
Although I did hear that his girlfriend is working on that bad memory of his...

lol, well, i never said that i've given up on it, lol
i just said that that's part of the reason for my seemingly lack of planning
it's weird... i have very good memory actually... just depends...
certain things i can memorize word for word, whilst other things just slip my mind, lol
like i've once studied a list of like 20 vocabulary words for a test (which i had forgotten that we had the test that day... lol)
and i actually memorized all the words (and their definitions and other things that were listed with it) practically word for word, lol
so, i can memorize stuff... probably just how much i actually commit to memory, and how much i can conjure up when i need it, lol

04/04/07 "When is someone really a friend." The Quote of the Month of April '07. One of the biggest contenders for the Quote of the Year of '07. It could start an entire discussion, and it did for me when the person I quoted asked me that.

Nonetheless, in the country I live, we rarely use the word "acquaintance" (I hate that word), because the only word we have for it is very informal and simply often sounds rude. So we tend to call people friends quite quick. However that doesn't mean that I have tons of 'real' friends. When my group of "friends" is completely when we go out, you are free to say that we are with about sixteen people, if not more. But if you then ask me who I consider a "friend", I can only name three or four. All others are nice people, but I don't think it are the kind of people I can relly on when something would happen and I think I would have at least a second of hesitation to help them when they need help, if you get what I mean. I don't have that with the other three/four.

Although those three, or four people have something ironic. I disliked one of them one and a half year ago, and I avoided contact with another one of them for a complete year because I really couldn't stand her. Nowadays we're the best of friends. But if any of those three would need help, I'll run over, no doubt. Heck, I mean we visited one of them during Christmas because he was 'enjoying' Christmas on his own alone at home. We thought it was sad, so we visited him... and ended up talking about politics...

yes, well, i'm weird with these aspects, lol
i'm definitely not unpopular... more so that i just don't try to become the most popular, lol (pretty content with my group of friends that i'd trust, and i dont have any reasons to have to go out and get myself tons of friends)
also, i'm very dedicated once i've considered someone a friend
like you had mentioned, there'd be no hesitation to help them, lol
but i think that the main difference is that i know that i'd be willing to help anyone, whereas i'd probably only trust my closest friends with things that i'd truly care about

You don't need to always be in the spotlight. I rarely stand in the spotlight, except when the major moodmaker of the group is absent, which he really is. Three friends and I are always there, which means that I hardly ever have to take over his role. You don't have to be in the centre of attention to have a great time. As for being isolated, well, you can do something about that.

And no, I don't think of you as a pyschopath. Keep in mind that I used to be quite shy. Besides that, I have been talking about a friend of mine that still seems to have some minor social problems. He seems to have problems with starting the conversation and keep subjects rolling. When he is nearing the end of his subjects to talk about - he panics.
I also know anti-social people, but those are a different story (and aren't invited to our (almost weekly) drinking-nights).

haha, well, i avoid the spotlight entirely, so... lol
i tend to stay back and observe events, lol (that's not to say that i dont have a good time, lol, just saying that it doesn't bring everyone flocking to meet me, lol)
lol, i wasn't saying that you were thinking of me as a psychopath, lol (just indicating that that would fit the definition which i was giving, lol)
well, i dont know if i'm necessarily "shy"...
i act very differently under different circumstances, lol
might just be more of whether i feel at ease in an environment... but i'm pretty adaptable, lol, so it's just weird, lol

My nose feels a lot better now, thank you. I just don't think it's a moment I'll forget easily... nor she. I'm usually kissed by her, not me kissing her, although I have been hinting to do that numerous times. "Yes, that's right. Look a little further to the right. Oh, move your purse, so I can get close. Just a little more to the right and then... yes... Ouch! Almost."

Or the raging discussion between a friend and myself. He has a girlfriend and loyal to her, so he tried to make an impossible comparison between himself, me and a friend of ours. "In that case, I would already have kissed <name> on the lips." It caught us all a bit off guard when he said that, but my answer was completely spontanous and didn't leave any of them waiting for the shortest second. "Of course, but so would I."
Out of embarassment she shouted my name, stood up and left to the bathroom.

well, its usually the little details that make for things that you'd remember for a long time, lol (well, if it wasn't detailed, then you probably don't remember it that well anyways, lol)
(also, good to hear that you're feeling better, lol)

Well, I know what a surprise is. But I thought you were referring to something in particular.


Well, if you read it on time that is: Congratulations with your uh... birthday. I hope you'll have a great day.

-Fladian

yeah, i figured that you did, lol
but i was merely trying to correlate from the word to what i had meant, lol (and as you've noticed, lol, i was not referring to anything in particular, lol)

lol, well, i'm pretty certain that my time zone is behind yours, lol
and yes, i've read it before my birthday, lol (nearly a whole day ahead... (or at least half a day anyways))
thank you very much
i hope that i have a good day too, lol, but i'm pretty sure of it

 

[Fladian]

oh, lol, well, it's np
i mean, at this rate you could call me by practically any name and i should know that its referring to me since there's not many others talking, lol

True, that's actually kind of sad.
Because my current week is kind of quiet, I can pick some time in the evening to show up on the forum, although it's very likely that this changes for next week and this weekend. So activity won't be too consistent from my part.

Now I am just stalling to prepare my dinner.

it's weird... i have very good memory actually... just depends...
certain things i can memorize word for word, whilst other things just slip my mind, lol
like i've once studied a list of like 20 vocabulary words for a test (which i had forgotten that we had the test that day... lol)

Selective memory? :wink:

Apparently I am better with long things than short things to memorize. Especially when it comes to names (which I'm pretty bad in). I seem to be able to memorize long names, or long formulas instead of short and easy ones. Maybe I'm just complacent.

i'm definitely not unpopular... more so that i just don't try to become the most popular, lol (pretty content with my group of friends that i'd trust, and i dont have any reasons to have to go out and get myself tons of friends)

It sure can't hurt. Well, I'm not sure how old you are, but that has a little role in it too.

Last week a friend of mine called when I was still at work. She was searching for a lawyer for something specific. And hey, I work for a lawyer. Unfortunately my boss couldn't help her, but it was possible to direct her to another lawyer. Knowing a lot of people can be very useful - especially when they're friends - from time to time.
Of course the question does remain how long friends last. I've had endless discussions about that with some old friends... we never really got to the conclusion because I always seem to be a big exception on the rules, because I have a hard time letting go the past.

also, i'm very dedicated once i've considered someone a friend
like you had mentioned, there'd be no hesitation to help them, lol

That can also go deeper. How much is someone worth? Until what point would you help them?
I always joke to people that I only listen to a selective number of people. At work I only listen to my boss, but that's partly because I've worked directly under her; when we go out I have a tendacy of listening to a friend I couldn't stand to be around only a mere year ago. But despite of me saying that, there are only two people that can contact me whenever they like and have me flying there when they need be - and one of them is more important to me than the other. Despite that they're aware of what I would do for them, one of them only made use of it once - and that was only because she was hospitalized. Nonetheless, the others are important to me too, but I doubt they'll manage to get me running over to them when I'm going out with a girl I like or something. Although I might be crazy enough to invite them along - something I've done in the past.

But like I said, how much is someone worth.

but i think that the main difference is that i know that i'd be willing to help anyone, whereas i'd probably only trust my closest friends with things that i'd truly care about

Then still comes the question, when is someone a really close friend. How would you recognize that. The person who has the best quote of April '07 asked me that as well; at that time, I was incapable of answering her questions - I am now.

Nonetheless, offering to help anyone can be taken advantage of very easily. Be careful with that.

i tend to stay back and observe events, lol (that's not to say that i dont have a good time, lol, just saying that it doesn't bring everyone flocking to meet me, lol)

Well, but still, sometimes it can be quite fun (and relieving) to be 'the big man' for once. Despite how much I have changed over the past five years, I still prefer to be a little more quiet than the others. That's what people recognize in me too. I am the most active guy (the girls are in the majority in our group of friends; when we're really complete (which has only been once so far), we're with six guys, including myself, but three of them has a tendacy of cancelling and another one keeps getting invited less) next to one other guy. He is usually in the main spotlight too, but that's his typical behavior. Besides being that, he also taught me to go out and have fun. I reminded him of that last friday: "You taught me that there's just one thing you have to worry about when going out."
"'How do I get home?'"
"Err... no, but that's a good one too. But that's not a really important one. At the worse case scenario I sleep at someone else's place."
In truth, he taught me that the only thing to worry about is how to make more fun. He taught me much more than that, but that's just one of the few things that I am grateful for.

lol, i wasn't saying that you were thinking of me as a psychopath, lol (just indicating that that would fit the definition which i was giving, lol)

I work for a lawyer; I have to deal with such people too. :wink:

i act very differently under different circumstances, lol
might just be more of whether i feel at ease in an environment... but i'm pretty adaptable, lol, so it's just weird, lol

Sounds a little bit like how I used to be when I was younger and more immune to the alcohol. Not only didn't I drink much because I didn't like many kinds of drinks, but also because alcohol didn't have a expectant effect on me. It helped me get used to the environment faster, but if I was only comfortable with the situation, I wouldn't act differently with alcohol. Unless you get me really and then I mean really drunk (I've been only that once in my entire life; I drank 3/4th of a bottle of Goldstrike, which is 50% alcohol), I wouldn't be any different than usual.
Those days are over. I drink weekly now and I'm much less resistant to alcohol, but still far more than the average person. No matter how drunk I am, I can always think clearly. But being able to, and wanting to do so are two very different things. But I like this much more than how it used to be.

But being able to act differently under different circumstances can be a good thing, but also a bad thing. It's hard to learn about yourself. Hard to know how you would act in a specific situation, which is something that can be really important as people grow older.

well, its usually the little details that make for things that you'd remember for a long time, lol (well, if it wasn't detailed, then you probably don't remember it that well anyways, lol)
(also, good to hear that you're feeling better, lol)

Those little details are all recorded in my Quote of the Day, which exists out of more than 2350 quotes right now. But I don't need my 'description' section of my QotD to memorize most. Over 1500 of them I can tell by heart. Memories.

lol, well, i'm pretty certain that my time zone is behind yours, lol

I have no idea; I don't know where you're from. But I'm Dutch... from the Netherlands; that tiny country next to Germany.

Congratulations and the best of wishes.

 

[edwinfong25]

True, that's actually kind of sad.
Because my current week is kind of quiet, I can pick some time in the evening to show up on the forum, although it's very likely that this changes for next week and this weekend. So activity won't be too consistent from my part.

Now I am just stalling to prepare my dinner.

yes, well, i think that the current conditions for most people is that of being very busy...

Selective memory? :wink:

Apparently I am better with long things than short things to memorize. Especially when it comes to names (which I'm pretty bad in). I seem to be able to memorize long names, or long formulas instead of short and easy ones. Maybe I'm just complacent.

maybe selective memory, maybe its just an odd quirk in my brain, lol
regardless, i know that i'm good at memorizing some things, other things i know to try harder, and i'd think that for the most part, i've gotten used to how my brain works, lol

It sure can't hurt. Well, I'm not sure how old you are, but that has a little role in it too.

Last week a friend of mine called when I was still at work. She was searching for a lawyer for something specific. And hey, I work for a lawyer. Unfortunately my boss couldn't help her, but it was possible to direct her to another lawyer. Knowing a lot of people can be very useful - especially when they're friends - from time to time.
Of course the question does remain how long friends last. I've had endless discussions about that with some old friends... we never really got to the conclusion because I always seem to be a big exception on the rules, because I have a hard time letting go the past.

well, at the moment, i've just turned 18, lol
yes, well, you'd be surprised at how many connections i do indeed have... (that's if i were to ever try to utilize them anyways...)
but for now, i haven't that kind of a need, or they aren't quite the right connections anways, lol
lol, well, i haven't a hard time letting go of the past... although that might just be that i dont... lol (mind you, i know to keep moving forward and not to dwell in the past, lol)

That can also go deeper. How much is someone worth? Until what point would you help them?
I always joke to people that I only listen to a selective number of people. At work I only listen to my boss, but that's partly because I've worked directly under her; when we go out I have a tendacy of listening to a friend I couldn't stand to be around only a mere year ago. But despite of me saying that, there are only two people that can contact me whenever they like and have me flying there when they need be - and one of them is more important to me than the other. Despite that they're aware of what I would do for them, one of them only made use of it once - and that was only because she was hospitalized. Nonetheless, the others are important to me too, but I doubt they'll manage to get me running over to them when I'm going out with a girl I like or something. Although I might be crazy enough to invite them along - something I've done in the past.

But like I said, how much is someone worth.

Well, i'd agree... but at the same time, it also comes down to (lol, going to borrow your quote, lol)
"When is someone really a friend."
Honestly, i'd say that for me anyways... as long as they don't try to be an enemy of mine (luckily this has rarely happened, lol)
i'd consider them to be someone that i'd help
but then there's the ones that i've come to know... those i'd consider close friends... and for those... i'm not even sure how far i'd go...
keep in mind, i'm not that old, lol, so i haven't as much experience... might just be part of romanticist thinkings, lol
but sure, it'd depend on the circumstances greatly
like, if someone's life was on the line... i like to think that i'd try to do something about it... maybe that's only cuz i'm not in that kind of a situation...
i mean... when choosing between life and death, there's always a subconscious longing for life...
also, i dont have nor have had a girlfriend, so i wouldn't know if my opinions would change at that point, lol (also, i don't feel the need for a girlfriend at the moment either (maybe i'm just crazy, lol) but for now, i think that i've got other things that i have to take care of first (such as school, lol) before worrying about such things, lol)
well, in response to your quote, i ask you, how do you measure worth? worth is not something that is set, worth is something that one places in their mind based merely on the comparisons of that whose worth they are measuring to the worth of something else

Then still comes the question, when is someone a really close friend. How would you recognize that. The person who has the best quote of April '07 asked me that as well; at that time, I was incapable of answering her questions - I am now.

Nonetheless, offering to help anyone can be taken advantage of very easily. Be careful with that.

well, lol, the way that my system works is that they're a close friend when they've gained my trust
which... is not hard to do... but it's also not easy to gain my full trust... (when i'd be so confident as to practically place my life in their hands)
yes, well, (and this might just be idealism kicking in, lol) i'd rather be taken advantage rather than to be taking advantage of someone else...
still, that's not to say, that i'm completely oblivious, lol, i usually know who i'm helping and why, and i'm pretty sure that i'm not so crazy that i wouldn't deny a request if i knew that they were indeed taking advantage of me, lol

Well, but still, sometimes it can be quite fun (and relieving) to be 'the big man' for once. Despite how much I have changed over the past five years, I still prefer to be a little more quiet than the others. That's what people recognize in me too. I am the most active guy (the girls are in the majority in our group of friends; when we're really complete (which has only been once so far), we're with six guys, including myself, but three of them has a tendacy of cancelling and another one keeps getting invited less) next to one other guy. He is usually in the main spotlight too, but that's his typical behavior. Besides being that, he also taught me to go out and have fun. I reminded him of that last friday: "You taught me that there's just one thing you have to worry about when going out."
"'How do I get home?'"
"Err... no, but that's a good one too. But that's not a really important one. At the worse case scenario I sleep at someone else's place."
In truth, he taught me that the only thing to worry about is how to make more fun. He taught me much more than that, but that's just one of the few things that I am grateful for.

well, yeah, i'd agree that its good to be well balanced and to experience everything
but i'd still say that i would still try to avoid it, lol
i have friends who can do that, and i'm usually able to just alter everything without being in the spotlight, lol, so i'm more of a behind the scenes person, lol
very important, but not most recognizable, lol

I work for a lawyer; I have to deal with such people too. :wink:

lol

Sounds a little bit like how I used to be when I was younger and more immune to the alcohol. Not only didn't I drink much because I didn't like many kinds of drinks, but also because alcohol didn't have a expectant effect on me. It helped me get used to the environment faster, but if I was only comfortable with the situation, I wouldn't act differently with alcohol. Unless you get me really and then I mean really drunk (I've been only that once in my entire life; I drank 3/4th of a bottle of Goldstrike, which is 50% alcohol), I wouldn't be any different than usual.
Those days are over. I drink weekly now and I'm much less resistant to alcohol, but still far more than the average person. No matter how drunk I am, I can always think clearly. But being able to, and wanting to do so are two very different things. But I like this much more than how it used to be.

But being able to act differently under different circumstances can be a good thing, but also a bad thing. It's hard to learn about yourself. Hard to know how you would act in a specific situation, which is something that can be really important as people grow older.

heh, well, i dont like drinking at all (not that i've particularly tried... but i just don't think that its something that i would like)
yes, well, usually even when i'm clear headed, i know that i still make mistakes... but at least i know that they're my mistakes, lol
and i've learned a lot about myself recently, lol
i can, for the most part, act however i wish to act... but in the end, it's how i choose (or don't choose) to act that is who i am
and even the mistakes that i may have made, i know that those have molded me into who i am today, lol (granted, i'd still wish that they didn't have to occur as they did, but i can accept that they've happened, and that, ultimately, i probably wouldn't change them even if i had the chance to, lol)

Those little details are all recorded in my Quote of the Day, which exists out of more than 2350 quotes right now. But I don't need my 'description' section of my QotD to memorize most. Over 1500 of them I can tell by heart. Memories.

that's exactly my point, lol
if they were not truly important to you, you wouldn't even remember the specifics clearly...

I have no idea; I don't know where you're from. But I'm Dutch... from the Netherlands; that tiny country next to Germany.

Congratulations and the best of wishes.

ahh, yes
well, i'm from the United States, lol
so yeah, lol

and as a side note, it was a pretty good birthday, lol (probably could have been much better, but definitely not a bad day )

 

[Fladian]

yes, well, i think that the current conditions for most people is that of being very busy...

Not really. People always tend to think of excuses, but next for the holidays and some specific days of the year (think of birthdays, going on vacation, etc.), people can always just make room for a few minutes. Otherwise a lot of entertainment for free time wouldn't even have existed. =)

well, at the moment, i've just turned 18, lol
yes, well, you'd be surprised at how many connections i do indeed have... (that's if i were to ever try to utilize them anyways...)

Well, I'm somewhat older than you are. Some years, nothing special.

But regardless, when I was 18 I had a lot of contacts too. But most of them ended up being skin deep. When I actually found out I could use their help, they didn't seem to be as useful as I hoped, thought or expected. The people I referred to now already proved several times to be useful in the way I expected, or thought them to be.
Although I'll be checking up on some in a few months. I'm intending to move out, preferrably heading to a house instead of a "dorm" (of some kind; it's not completely similar). Unfortunately I live in overpopulated city in an overpopulated country, so getting one for a reasonable price (at a reasonably distance from my school, job and preferably friends, although that's optional) is hard work. But then it's a good thing when you imagine that I worked for a real-estate and a friend of mine has some very solid contacts from there too. It might just be the little bit of help I need to get through.

lol, well, i haven't a hard time letting go of the past... although that might just be that i dont... lol (mind you, i know to keep moving forward and not to dwell in the past, lol)

Well, that's better than me. I stick too long with it.

(lol, going to borrow your quote, lol)

It's not mine. A friend, if I can call her that, said it. Ironically it was said when she was quite depressed. That might be the only time I can remember she was actually a bit quiet.

i'd consider them to be someone that i'd help
but then there's the ones that i've come to know... those i'd consider close friends... and for those... i'm not even sure how far i'd go...
keep in mind, i'm not that old, lol, so i haven't as much experience... might just be part of romanticist thinkings, lol

You said earlier that you would be willing to extend a hand to help for just about anyone, if I recall right. However you also refused to call everyone you 'want' or 'could' help friends. It's a little confusing here.

But the fact does remain that romantic-feelings and 'want-to' feelings can be quite different from reality, as you concluded yourself. If I was able to, I'd gladly would have said (and did) that I would take all the responsibility if something would happen to a specific friend of mine. But although I would want to, I can't. Despite that I have proved in the past a couple of times that I can function properly - and sometimes better - when I am given a lot of responsibility, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I like it. Taking the responsibility of something that would happen is not a realistic goal that I would set for myself, just like saying 'I'll call all my friends to ask them to go out,' which is something unrealistic for me too. If you aren't aware of it, I am afraid of calling people by phone - though not when I am just picking up the phone when someone else is calling. Although this fear has decreased dramatically over the past year and a half, thanks to three friends in particular and my current boss.

but sure, it'd depend on the circumstances greatly
like, if someone's life was on the line... i like to think that i'd try to do something about it... maybe that's only cuz i'm not in that kind of a situation...

When someone's life is in danger people, who look at them selves highly, often name things they would do. They might be very realistic things to do for them under normal circumstances, but under the pressure of something like that, the most people crumble under pressure.

i mean... when choosing between life and death, there's always a subconscious longing for life...
also, i dont have nor have had a girlfriend, so i wouldn't know if my opinions would change at that point, lol (also, i don't feel the need for a girlfriend at the moment either (maybe i'm just crazy, lol) but for now, i think that i've got other things that i have to take care of first (such as school, lol) before worrying about such things, lol)

Well, that's remarkable. Such feelings tend to come during the puberty, which you've reached for some time now. :wink: But it's good that you're not concerned with it. =)

But it's not like I have been all that successful in love. I've only had one girlfriend and the relationship wasn't really one that's worth telling about. Although I do remember it fondly. I've been single for quite some time now though. Unfortunately, when I was your age, I was unable to seperate love, or lust, with my school-life, which was quite bad for me. But hey, I made it. =P

And no, it's not like you're crazy.

well, in response to your quote, i ask you, how do you measure worth? worth is not something that is set, worth is something that one places in their mind based merely on the comparisons of that whose worth they are measuring to the worth of something else

That's one to think about. It's one a collegue asked me earlier this week as well. He couldn't imagine that I chose a girl above my best friend - a choice that I never regretted. But upon the answer why I would choose her over him - because I was not in love with her - I could not find anything fitting, or at least anything that would satisfy him, except that I agreed more with the principes of the girl than of my best friend.

But I can't answer your question, simply because I do not know. I never understood either why one of my best guy-friends is even a friend. We hardly have anything in common, we absolutely do not agree with each other's principes and disapprove of each other's behavior. The only thing we do have in common are our ambitions and mentality - we have our mind set on a few things and we are both determined to reach it. And a week ago I confessed to our group of friends: "He and I are both a sucker for nice and beautiful girls." (which is true; but I was clearly referring to a friend in particular)

yes, well, (and this might just be idealism kicking in, lol) i'd rather be taken advantage rather than to be taking advantage of someone else...

I wish I could say the same thing, but I'm afraid that would be idealism, as you said. It is so very easy to take advantage of someone when they offer it and you're only even a little bit lazy, tired of just not in the mood.

well, lol, the way that my system works is that they're a close friend when they've gained my trust
which... is not hard to do... but it's also not easy to gain my full trust... (when i'd be so confident as to practically place my life in their hands)

I can relate to that, but that's also quickly affiliated with being naive.

still, that's not to say, that i'm completely oblivious, lol, i usually know who i'm helping and why, and i'm pretty sure that i'm not so crazy that i wouldn't deny a request if i knew that they were indeed taking advantage of me, lol

That's just the point. There will be numerous times when it is hard, or even impossible to see when someone is taking advantage of you. I've worked at a real-estate office in which I had much connections with customers. Some seemed very desperate and often touched me on my soft side, which made me either pity them or simply just made me feel sorry and I got the urge to want to help them. I now work for a lawyer at a lawyer's office and I talk to clients more than ever before. The lawyer I work for is (partly) specialized in crime-law, which involes going to court for clients that have comitted a crime. It varies how big the crime is. Daily I have contact with a high number of clients that all want to talk to the lawyer. Some do this by getting angry, others by remaining calm and friendly. Naturally I prefer the second - we all do. But eitherway, they will do practically anything to talk to the lawyer (or get out of prison). I think you get my point.

well, yeah, i'd agree that its good to be well balanced and to experience everything

Trust me on one thing, but just on my word. Being experienced in many things is not always a good thing and can actually be quite annoying. Although in theory you're completely right... it's just unfortunate and theory is not always similar to the real life.

heh, well, i dont like drinking at all (not that i've particularly tried... but i just don't think that its something that i would like)

That's what most people say. I didn't like drinking for a very long time either. Until last year, I didn't even like beer. Now I drink it (at the very least) weekly.

i can, for the most part, act however i wish to act... but in the end, it's how i choose (or don't choose) to act that is who i am

Doesn't sound unusual. What makes you think that?

Or were you referring to function under pressure or under influence? I am extremely good under pressure and most influental things don't get me very clouded minded. Or at least, not as fast as most. Drugs work pretty much similar to alcohol for me... and yes, I've tried. I've been active with it in the past, although I won't touch it anymore. The last time has been years ago.

and even the mistakes that i may have made, i know that those have molded me into who i am today, lol (granted, i'd still wish that they didn't have to occur as they did, but i can accept that they've happened, and that, ultimately, i probably wouldn't change them even if i had the chance to, lol)

That I do respect. I have lived my life with regrets. I have been very unsocial for about eightteen years. Despite that I had great friends, I didn't talk that much or often feel very comfortable. I was very shy and even more insecure than I was shy. I was not outgoing and I hardly went out. I also was more than 30 centimers shorter than I am now and I had long hair.

Nowadays I am very social and I keep surprising old friends how easily I approach new people and talk to others. I am still very happy with my new and old friends, I talk more than I sometimes should and I feel much better than in the past. I am not very shy anymore and I am very secure and self confident. I became very outgoing and I go out once or twice a week (this being more related to my financial picture than the fact whether I want or not). I grew a lot in a very short period of time (during my 18 - 19 years) and I have short hair nowadays and considering of shaving my head bald coming summer, although I still need to discuss this with a friend.

But I regret those first eightteen years of my life. I'm now some years older and I am bend on not regretting anything anymore. But that's, of course, easier said than done.

and as a side note, it was a pretty good birthday, lol (probably could have been much better, but definitely not a bad day

Great to hear. Already feel like an old man? :wink:

 

[edwinfong25]

Not really. People always tend to think of excuses, but next for the holidays and some specific days of the year (think of birthdays, going on vacation, etc.), people can always just make room for a few minutes. Otherwise a lot of entertainment for free time wouldn't even have existed. =)

well, i'd say busy enough that they haven't got the boredom to go onto every site that they can remember... lol

Well, I'm somewhat older than you are. Some years, nothing special.

But regardless, when I was 18 I had a lot of contacts too. But most of them ended up being skin deep. When I actually found out I could use their help, they didn't seem to be as useful as I hoped, thought or expected. The people I referred to now already proved several times to be useful in the way I expected, or thought them to be.
Although I'll be checking up on some in a few months. I'm intending to move out, preferrably heading to a house instead of a "dorm" (of some kind; it's not completely similar). Unfortunately I live in overpopulated city in an overpopulated country, so getting one for a reasonable price (at a reasonably distance from my school, job and preferably friends, although that's optional) is hard work. But then it's a good thing when you imagine that I worked for a real-estate and a friend of mine has some very solid contacts from there too. It might just be the little bit of help I need to get through.

well, unfortunately, i doubt that i'd ever test them until it was absolutely necessary (in my opinion) and by then, it'll probably be too late, lol
depends on what happens i suppose, lol, but that i can't comment on til later, lol

You said earlier that you would be willing to extend a hand to help for just about anyone, if I recall right. However you also refused to call everyone you 'want' or 'could' help friends. It's a little confusing here.

But the fact does remain that romantic-feelings and 'want-to' feelings can be quite different from reality, as you concluded yourself. If I was able to, I'd gladly would have said (and did) that I would take all the responsibility if something would happen to a specific friend of mine. But although I would want to, I can't. Despite that I have proved in the past a couple of times that I can function properly - and sometimes better - when I am given a lot of responsibility, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I like it. Taking the responsibility of something that would happen is not a realistic goal that I would set for myself, just like saying 'I'll call all my friends to ask them to go out,' which is something unrealistic for me too. If you aren't aware of it, I am afraid of calling people by phone - though not when I am just picking up the phone when someone else is calling. Although this fear has decreased dramatically over the past year and a half, thanks to three friends in particular and my current boss.

well, sometimes the people that i'd help may not necessarily be my friends, lol (yes, sounds odd)
and once again that just comes down to the defining of the term of friendship
i've no problem helping people who sincerely are asking for help
but that doesn't necessarily make me consider them a friend, lol
well, i dont know about having the responsibility of it all...
but i'd like to think that if any of my friends ever needed help, i'd try to help them... (of course, i know enough that sometimes that's not always possible... but i'd think that if it was possible, i'd take the chance)
heh, well, i haven't any goal of doing so either... it's just something that if it were to ever occur, i'd hope that i'd be able to make the "right" decision (regardless whether that would indeed be to help or not) and obviously that has no meaning til the time comes (if it ever were to)

When someone's life is in danger people, who look at them selves highly, often name things they would do. They might be very realistic things to do for them under normal circumstances, but under the pressure of something like that, the most people crumble under pressure.

well, maybe i look at myself somewhat highly? (erm, i dont think that i'm arrogant about it or anything, but i definitely like to think that i would be able to do stuff, lol)
well, i don't know if i'd be able to actually name things that i'd be able to do, lol
honestly, i doubt it'd turn out at all well if anything bad were to happen, lol (i'm no hero, lol, so it'd probably turn out to be worthless what i'd be able to do, lol)
but i still like to think that i'd at least try... lol

Well, that's remarkable. Such feelings tend to come during the puberty, which you've reached for some time now. :wink: But it's good that you're not concerned with it. =)

But it's not like I have been all that successful in love. I've only had one girlfriend and the relationship wasn't really one that's worth telling about. Although I do remember it fondly. I've been single for quite some time now though. Unfortunately, when I was your age, I was unable to seperate love, or lust, with my school-life, which was quite bad for me. But hey, I made it. =P

And no, it's not like you're crazy.

well, i suppose that i figure that i've still got time to worry about it later on, lol (no point taking up more than i can handle, lol)
yes, well, i think that i'd say that i'm completely unsuccessful, lol (well, considering that i haven't had a girlfriend, nor has anyone seemingly shown an interest of any kind towards me, lol) but what do i know, lol
still, that's not to say that just because i'd refer to it as unsuccessful that it's overly a bad thing, lol (in a sense, rather, it's part of who i am, and i've come to accept that that's how it is for now, and i'm pretty sure that it'll change through time, lol)

That's one to think about. It's one a collegue asked me earlier this week as well. He couldn't imagine that I chose a girl above my best friend - a choice that I never regretted. But upon the answer why I would choose her over him - because I was not in love with her - I could not find anything fitting, or at least anything that would satisfy him, except that I agreed more with the principes of the girl than of my best friend.

But I can't answer your question, simply because I do not know. I never understood either why one of my best guy-friends is even a friend. We hardly have anything in common, we absolutely do not agree with each other's principes and disapprove of each other's behavior. The only thing we do have in common are our ambitions and mentality - we have our mind set on a few things and we are both determined to reach it. And a week ago I confessed to our group of friends: "He and I are both a sucker for nice and beautiful girls." (which is true; but I was clearly referring to a friend in particular)

Well, values can change often and quite quickly...
and seeing as there is no scale to say that friends have to be rated with a higher "value", i'd think that it's absolutely understandable
additionally, the fact that you have no regrets on the matter shows that you've made the right choice
as a matter of fact, the way that i see it... if they are that concerned that you do not place them highly in your heart... perhaps they do not quite see you as a friend... for if they valued you as greatly as they'd expected you to do them... perhaps they would have been able to understand that they are not the only ties that you hold to the world
answering the question is not necessary, lol
just recognizing it and thinking about it (as you have done) is all that can be achieved out of it
well, friendships occur in strange fashions, lol
and so long as there is some tie that bonds you together (and nothing that severs it) then the bond shall remain, even if it goes unnoticed

I wish I could say the same thing, but I'm afraid that would be idealism, as you said. It is so very easy to take advantage of someone when they offer it and you're only even a little bit lazy, tired of just not in the mood.

yes, its definitely a lot of idealism in it, lol
i mean, at some point, my view may change... i won't try to act like i'm perfect, lol, i just might be a complete hypocrite if it came down to it...
but for now at the least, this is my view, and i have no intentions of going against it... (and as long as i can maintain it, i will try)

I can relate to that, but that's also quickly affiliated with being naive.

well, i'm not going to argue that i'm not naive, lol
i know for a fact that i'm not experienced with many matters (or even well informed at some, lol)
but i'd rather go with it, until something truly makes me change my mind, or proves my methods wrong...
i mean, if it works, why try to fix it?
perhaps i can be lucky enough that i will continue to live with simplicity, and if not, then i'll have to change with the times... but i'll try to wait on the change with regards to this, lol

That's just the point. There will be numerous times when it is hard, or even impossible to see when someone is taking advantage of you. I've worked at a real-estate office in which I had much connections with customers. Some seemed very desperate and often touched me on my soft side, which made me either pity them or simply just made me feel sorry and I got the urge to want to help them. I now work for a lawyer at a lawyer's office and I talk to clients more than ever before. The lawyer I work for is (partly) specialized in crime-law, which involes going to court for clients that have comitted a crime. It varies how big the crime is. Daily I have contact with a high number of clients that all want to talk to the lawyer. Some do this by getting angry, others by remaining calm and friendly. Naturally I prefer the second - we all do. But eitherway, they will do practically anything to talk to the lawyer (or get out of prison). I think you get my point.

yes, i absolutely understand that, lol
well, but i'd have to say, lol, if i dont trust my own judgment (even if it should prove to be wrong) then whose judgment should i trust? lol?
so i'll probably still go by this as well, lol (but that's not to think that i'm not cautious, lol, trust is easily lost, and not so easily gained)

Trust me on one thing, but just on my word. Being experienced in many things is not always a good thing and can actually be quite annoying. Although in theory you're completely right... it's just unfortunate and theory is not always similar to the real life.

well, i believe you, but unfortunately there's some things that i'll have to experience myself before truly knowing that i was wrong...
mind you, i was aware of such matters and even know that certain experiences are utterly undesirable
i will heed your advice and avoid certain experiences, but nonetheless some things may be a bit unavoidable... so we'll see, lol

theory and practice are no doubt as different as can be;
but i've never considered taking them separately

(lol, i just made a rhyme, lol )

That's what most people say. I didn't like drinking for a very long time either. Until last year, I didn't even like beer. Now I drink it (at the very least) weekly.

lol, examples of people being fully capable of changing as time passes
still, i'm pretty certain about this one... i'd really like to avoid it altogether, lol
still, only way we'll know what happens is when it indeed happens, lol (but i'll say, i'm putting my life on the line on this one, lol)
(yeah, odd humor at times, lol)

Doesn't sound unusual. What makes you think that?

Or were you referring to function under pressure or under influence? I am extremely good under pressure and most influental things don't get me very clouded minded. Or at least, not as fast as most. Drugs work pretty much similar to alcohol for me... and yes, I've tried. I've been active with it in the past, although I won't touch it anymore. The last time has been years ago.

Well, i think that it may have made more sense somewhat in context with the rest of the erm... composition, lol
but yeah, i'd suppose that that's what i'd be referring to
well, that's a very good thing
shows good self-control and determination (willpower) both to be able to maintain composure as well as to stop using drugs
I respect that, and very greatly for that matter :wink:

That I do respect. I have lived my life with regrets. I have been very unsocial for about eightteen years. Despite that I had great friends, I didn't talk that much or often feel very comfortable. I was very shy and even more insecure than I was shy. I was not outgoing and I hardly went out. I also was more than 30 centimers shorter than I am now and I had long hair.

Nowadays I am very social and I keep surprising old friends how easily I approach new people and talk to others. I am still very happy with my new and old friends, I talk more than I sometimes should and I feel much better than in the past. I am not very shy anymore and I am very secure and self confident. I became very outgoing and I go out once or twice a week (this being more related to my financial picture than the fact whether I want or not). I grew a lot in a very short period of time (during my 18 - 19 years) and I have short hair nowadays and considering of shaving my head bald coming summer, although I still need to discuss this with a friend.

But I regret those first eightteen years of my life. I'm now some years older and I am bend on not regretting anything anymore. But that's, of course, easier said than done.

well, that's not to say i haven't regretted things that i've done...
i've done a good deal of things that i would say i regret, some as simple as regretting having not shown certain manners or responding in ways that may have been more appropriate... (such as being more keen on details, or sometimes complimenting people)
and other things, i've regretted with a much greater intensity... i still can't say that i've gotten over them, but like i had said, since i can't go back and change them, i've somewhat accepted them, and although i haven't forgotten them... (they still remind me of my great flaws and errors, nearly every day...) i use them as part of my determination to ensure that i don't allow for such mistakes to be made again...
and then after a while (as well as with some wise words from certain people) i've accepted them even more, and now even look back at some of these things as being great learning points, such as allowing me to understand myself a bit further, and now, i don't even think that i would change them if given the chance... sure, there's always that longing to think that things may have been better, but i'm also rational enough to think that without those events, i would not have learned certain things, and that they may not have necessarily been better, both with respect to my not having experienced them and the changes that they caused as well as the fact of the matter that i dont know that it'd be better anyways, lol

well, i agree that it's not always easy to follow up on such tasks, but it's the will to keep trying that really counts, lol
and best of luck in maintaining the goal of no more regrets, i fully support you in that

Great to hear. Already feel like an old man? :wink:

well, not an old man exactly, lol more like an older boy, lol
but definitely feeling older, lol :wink:

 

[Fladian]

well, i'd say busy enough that they haven't got the boredom to go onto every site that they can remember... lol

Weak excuse. I visit the SCH forum daily too.

well, sometimes the people that i'd help may not necessarily be my friends, lol (yes, sounds odd)
and once again that just comes down to the defining of the term of friendship
i've no problem helping people who sincerely are asking for help

Would that involve the next most random person that drops by?

well, maybe i look at myself somewhat highly? (erm, i dont think that i'm arrogant about it or anything, but i definitely like to think that i would be able to do stuff, lol)
well, i don't know if i'd be able to actually name things that i'd be able to do, lol
honestly, i doubt it'd turn out at all well if anything bad were to happen, lol (i'm no hero, lol, so it'd probably turn out to be worthless what i'd be able to do, lol)
but i still like to think that i'd at least try... lol

No, I said it wrong. I meant that people tend to overrate them selves when asked what they would do in dire situations and when it comes to helping people in them. It's no real flaw of people, it's just that it is nearly impossible - unless experienced before (preferrably more than once) - to imagine the situation and conclude your own reactions based on that.

Everyone would want to do something if they can offer and actually help the person in need, especially when it is someone you consider a friend. That counts for you, for me and for just about anyone else in the world.

Although you're right in it too. Having the feeling of at least attempting to do something can be quite relieving.

A few months ago, an old friend of mine passed away. His heart suddenly stopped beating without any real reason. He was nineteen years old and has been a classmate of me for a thick five years. Despite that I hardly saw him after he transferred schools, I still had almost daily contact with him on MSN and that contact was growing shortly before he passed away. You are free to say that I was completely shocked when the news reached me that he passed away. That news was delivered to me about eight hours after his depart. Together with another friend we searched the internet, news on TV and radio almost instantly to find anything about what happened... but in vain. My friend was later contacted by his younger brother and my friend contacted me immediately after that. I'm not sure about my friend, but I hardly slept that night. It has been over three months now, and I still can't believe that he is no longer around.
Out of respect for him, my friend and I have done everything in our power to contact any old friend, classmate or simply the people he knew to inform them about the latest news. We managed to contact a lot of people, but we were unable to contact one former classmate and friend in particular. Yet we kept trying. As far as I know, we have tried everything. Phone numbers he gave us, emails, profile-sites on the internet, phone books, former classmates, the school he attended to, old friends of his, but we couldn't find anything - which remains hard to believe because he has a tendacy of showing up on TV, he being almost a genius when it comes to calculating specific things (things I don't know the slightest thing about) - about him. A complete month later my friend and I kept trying. Eventually we managed to get him on his phone. Because of (unknown) reasons he didn't pick up the phone, so we conversed by sms. It seemed that he was already up to date.
You are free to say that my friend and I were sorely disappointed that we couldn't contact him before his funeral, but we at least have the pride that we kept trying. And I think that is the best kind of goodbye we could have given our departed friend.

yes, well, i think that i'd say that i'm completely unsuccessful, lol (well, considering that i haven't had a girlfriend, nor has anyone seemingly shown an interest of any kind towards me, lol) but what do i know, lol

Being unsuccessful isn't that bad, as long as you don't do the same thing as me. Making the stupidist of remarks that are humanly possible. Still, I'm not too serious in it around some.

But as for someone showing interest, that doesn't always have to come from one direction. =) There are two people in it together. =)

still, that's not to say that just because i'd refer to it as unsuccessful that it's overly a bad thing, lol (in a sense, rather, it's part of who i am, and i've come to accept that that's how it is for now, and i'm pretty sure that it'll change through time, lol)

Yeah, it's nothing to worry about it. Worrying can only slow it down. =)

Well, values can change often and quite quickly...

Agreed; someone can break the trust of someone by just one action. I know everything about that. By going straight against the principes of my best friend, we turned against each other. For as far as I know, he doesn't want to see or talk to me anymore. But that is none of my concern.

additionally, the fact that you have no regrets on the matter shows that you've made the right choice

That is arguable. Despite that I never regretted the things I have done and would do so again in a heartbeat, I would wish that I could make a more neutral solution. And the fact that I "lost" my best friend is the point that you can place a questionmark with. Was it really worth it to lose a good friend over a girl?
It's something that I will continue to think about for the next few years. I'll probably never get used to the fact that I actually made such a decision and all the consequences it had.

as a matter of fact, the way that i see it... if they are that concerned that you do not place them highly in your heart... perhaps they do not quite see you as a friend... for if they valued you as greatly as they'd expected you to do them... perhaps they would have been able to understand that they are not the only ties that you hold to the world

I doubt that was the case in this situation. I went directly (not vaguely, but directly) against his principes.

Let me put it differently. I tell you now to not post anymore; I forbid you to put even one more letter on this forum. Yet the next time I check the forum, I notice that you've written a novel that I can only dream of on the forum that overclasses the world's best sellers.
I did that with him as well. He took her as his responsibility and I made sure that she stayed away from him - and continued to keep them as far apart as possible. It's not completely as I say it is, but the point is taken, I assume.

In other words, it's not like he overrated himself. If there is any fault made, I should be the blame.
English is not my native language, but in my native language, friends tend to call such things "back stabbing" or "betraying." That's why it remains arguable whether I did the right thing or not. But whether it is, I believe that I did the right thing and do not regret it.

i mean, if it works, why try to fix it?

Because you may realize it is full with flaws and bound to go wrong some time? Although I am very well contradicting myself, considering that I didn't change anything about myself until it went 'wrong.'

well, but i'd have to say, lol, if i dont trust my own judgment (even if it should prove to be wrong) then whose judgment should i trust? lol?

Someone you are willing to give your life for, which you referred to earlier. But you're right nonetheless.

but unfortunately there's some things that i'll have to experience myself before truly knowing that i was wrong...

Of course, of course.

"Every experience is a life experience."

mind you, i was aware of such matters and even know that certain experiences are utterly undesirable
i will heed your advice and avoid certain experiences, but nonetheless some things may be a bit unavoidable... so we'll see, lol

Of course, but I wasn't only referring to bad experiences. I was also referring to positive things. There are times when you may conclude that you experienced too much of a single subject, if that is the right word to use.

I can read some people. I can tell you by heart what they are doing right now, how they are doing something and when they will finish what they are doing. That's how well I know them. Almost everyone has someone, or a few people they know that of.
An example I will give is an extreme one, but one that really happened. I was waiting for the bus together with a classmate and I saw a friend standing far away, also waiting for the bus. But I knew she had to take the same bus as me, but she - which she later told - thought she already missed this one. I was unsure whether it was her or not, so I kept starring. When she put on her lipstick, I realized it was her. So I decided to call her. While her phone was ringing, I told the classmate next to me exactly how she would react. I told her in which pocket she would search first, then the second pocket, I told the body language she would take on and especially the fact that she slightly started to panic because she couldn't find her phone. However, I knew very well where her phone was, despite that I hadn't seen her since a day ago. When she finally found her phone, I asked her to come to us. While she was walking towards us, our classmate was completely stunned that I knew exactly and with details how she would respond.
When you are able to do this with multiple people, it can become very quickly annoying. It is fun to do once, but the second time gets quickly on your nerves.

This is only one of the examples and in the form of a person. Situations, organisations and everything can work in a similar way. After spending time with something or someone, you get used to it. When it are 'unique' situations, rare ones, or simply the everyday situations, it can be quite nervebreaking.
The final example I will give: It can be fun for a long time to know everything people are talking about, but it gets annoying when you can relate to everything they mention.

lol, examples of people being fully capable of changing as time passes
still, i'm pretty certain about this one... i'd really like to avoid it altogether, lol

Well, I am not here to convince anyone. I'll leave the choice to you, although I'll happily keep on drinking. ^^

shows good self-control and determination (willpower) both to be able to maintain composure as well as to stop using drugs

I am glad you respect it, but I'm afraid I'll have to break that respect. I never have been addicted to drugs, but I stopped using it because I liked a girl in particular. I overheard her talking to someone that she broke up with her ex because he was using (too much) drugs. That was for me reason enough to stop it myself. Ironically after I lost interest in her, I didn't take it back on.

The self-control isn't much to be proud of either. I have always been quite good with influental stuff. My body (or mind) seems to handle it well. It has nothing to do with myself. And like I said, being able to act normal and want to act normal can be very different.

My determination is arguable as well. I need a person in particular (or multiple people) to motivate me to do something. In my case, it has been the same person for over three years now. She still seems to motivate me, and as long as I have her around every now and then, I can motivate myself to do something. So the determination is not as good as it may seem. And I'm quite proud. ^^

i use them as part of my determination to ensure that i don't allow for such mistakes to be made again...

That's where I can refer to what I mentioned earlier: "Every experience is a life experience."
You can relate to it, you know what went wrong and you know how to improve it.

and best of luck in maintaining the goal of no more regrets, i fully support you in that

Of course never regretting anything anymore is impossible. But trying to never regret something is something to do.

but definitely feeling older, lol

Now that's an original answer. Most people I ask it reply that they don't feel any different - with one person as exception, who said that she felt even younger. "I feel like thirteen," was what she said, as I recall. On my question that it might be too young, she agreed: "I am twenty after all."
Yet I always told her not to complain: "I'm older than you are, how do you think I feel?"

But to go back a little on topic. I had a long weekend. *yawn*

Friday we decided to go out again with the 'usual' group. But for the first time it ended up being a bad one. None of us really felt like going and we were all tired. So we drank a little, we talked a little, but the subjects had no solid ground and quickly drifted away. A little after 10 in the evening, three of the six decided to leave. I was ready to leave as well, but I sticked with the remaining people. We decided to continue to a different bar and have a little drink.
One of the friends I went with decided to 'try his luck' with some girls, despite being taken. Every time he was being a little successful, the other person who was around got between them. Everytime she acted like his girlfriend, which made the other girls lose their interest. An interesting night, but I was far too tired to play any role in it.

The day afterwards is on my list of longest days ever. My suits were finished so I had to pick them up, I had a hair cut, I bought new shoes, I called four friends (despite of my, hopefully no more, "phone phobia") and finally I would go with two 'friends' to the cinema. Although I wasn't too enthousiastic about it because I was kinda pissed off at both. The evening ended up being very different than planned.

When we finally met at the cinema, all three of us came to the conclusion that we weren't in the mood at all to go watch a movie. So instead of going to the cinema, we decided to go get something to drink and talk a bit. This is where I went wrong. I drank too much, in a too short period of time. After a little while of talking, a friend with his girlfriend walked in and coincidentally saw us and sat by with us. Generally I had fun, but according to the friend who later joined us, I was kinda annoying - something I can relate to fully when I remember how I acted to him, but I can't remember being all that annoying to my other two companions. Nonetheless I'd like to apologize to one of my friends.

At the end of the night I was the first one to take the bus home. While in the bus, I waved at my friends who were still waiting... or at least, I thought I was waving at them. The person I waved to, waved back, but that person wore red gloves. Immediately I sent an sms asking my friend if I waved at her, because I couldn't recall that she wore red gloves. Almost immediately I received her reply: "No, that wasn't me." Which makes me wonder who I waved at and why she waved back at me.

And now... Sunday. A calm day with only a few phone calls to do... but a calm day nonetheless.

Now I am getting ready for bed. It's not my usual weekend. ^^

 

[edwinfong25]

Weak excuse. I visit the SCH forum daily too.

lol, yes, well, nonetheless it's one of the so called "reasons"
and unfortunately, when you really look into it, a lot of "reasons" are typically just excuses...
personally, i've been skimming over like 4 different forums everyday, lol (although, the depth of each varies as some of them i'm only involved in one particular area... lol)

Would that involve the next most random person that drops by?

well, that might depend on just how random they were, lol
and more likely on the type of help that they'd be looking for...
(i mean pertaining to like warcraft, i've helped many people with any questions pertaining to map editing whenever i can)
that, i'd say occurs because i fell like helping people and also because i know of the subject matter quite well
i mean, i can't really help if i dont know anything about it, lol

No, I said it wrong. I meant that people tend to overrate them selves when asked what they would do in dire situations and when it comes to helping people in them. It's no real flaw of people, it's just that it is nearly impossible - unless experienced before (preferrably more than once) - to imagine the situation and conclude your own reactions based on that.

Everyone would want to do something if they can offer and actually help the person in need, especially when it is someone you consider a friend. That counts for you, for me and for just about anyone else in the world.

Although you're right in it too. Having the feeling of at least attempting to do something can be quite relieving.

A few months ago, an old friend of mine passed away. His heart suddenly stopped beating without any real reason. He was nineteen years old and has been a classmate of me for a thick five years. Despite that I hardly saw him after he transferred schools, I still had almost daily contact with him on MSN and that contact was growing shortly before he passed away. You are free to say that I was completely shocked when the news reached me that he passed away. That news was delivered to me about eight hours after his depart. Together with another friend we searched the internet, news on TV and radio almost instantly to find anything about what happened... but in vain. My friend was later contacted by his younger brother and my friend contacted me immediately after that. I'm not sure about my friend, but I hardly slept that night. It has been over three months now, and I still can't believe that he is no longer around.
Out of respect for him, my friend and I have done everything in our power to contact any old friend, classmate or simply the people he knew to inform them about the latest news. We managed to contact a lot of people, but we were unable to contact one former classmate and friend in particular. Yet we kept trying. As far as I know, we have tried everything. Phone numbers he gave us, emails, profile-sites on the internet, phone books, former classmates, the school he attended to, old friends of his, but we couldn't find anything - which remains hard to believe because he has a tendacy of showing up on TV, he being almost a genius when it comes to calculating specific things (things I don't know the slightest thing about) - about him. A complete month later my friend and I kept trying. Eventually we managed to get him on his phone. Because of (unknown) reasons he didn't pick up the phone, so we conversed by sms. It seemed that he was already up to date.
You are free to say that my friend and I were sorely disappointed that we couldn't contact him before his funeral, but we at least have the pride that we kept trying. And I think that is the best kind of goodbye we could have given our departed friend.

well, you may have said it wrong (in your opinion) but i'd say that i had interpreted it correctly (or maybe incorrectly for that matter, lol)
yes, i can understand that
many people can say a lot of stuff, but when time comes for action, they're no where to be found...
in all honesty... i can't say that i'm not like that... (that'd be a complete lie considering that many events and reactions are completely situational, and sometimes just instinctual)
but still, like i've said, i like to think that i'm better than that, lol (but only time can tell on this one, lol)

well, it's saddening for anyone to die...
and i'm sorry to hear that... but at the same time, i'm not going to try and act like i'd know how you'd feel... i mean, i can very well understand feelings and emotions... but understanding and actually feeling the way one feels is a completely different story...
also, i'm enlightened to hear that you had continued through, and eventually found him

Being unsuccessful isn't that bad, as long as you don't do the same thing as me. Making the stupidist of remarks that are humanly possible. Still, I'm not too serious in it around some.

But as for someone showing interest, that doesn't always have to come from one direction. =) There are two people in it together. =)


Yeah, it's nothing to worry about it. Worrying can only slow it down. =)

well, luckily for me then, i'm pretty sure that i rarely make the stupidest of remarks... but, that's not to say that i dont make stupid decisions, lol (which is worse?, lol)
yes, well, this point, i've noticed... but i can't say that i've never shown interest, but i'd think that it's just that i don't show direct interest towards anyone, lol
and actually, i might have to take back my comment, lol, depends, i mean, i've had some girls from my school, "show an interest" towards me, lol, but... i wouldn't quite say that in such a sense necessarily, it was more of a friendly thing, but perhaps if i'd have been a bit more friendly in my reactions, perhaps i could have been more liked, lol
(lol, and to think that i'd have the reverse concerns as well at times... for typically, i enjoy making origami, and more often then not, i'd make flowers and i'd give them to others (typically girls, lol, although i'd make other things if other guys asked for them), and ironically, i'd be afraid that they might get the wrong message, lol (although typically i tend to give them the flowers on their birthday)) so perhaps it's just that i make too much of an effort to not be with others, lol
heh, well, now my response to this part just sounds oddly misplaced after that last line, lol
well, there are two people, but it's quite meaningless if the other person has no interest or maybe even a feeling of disgust towards you, lol (but as you've noticed, that really doesn't concern me, lol, i'm just not too keen on finding a girlfriend, so i've never went out of my way to do anything about it... and i'm pretty sure that very few people would dislike me... i'm usually pretty careful about that, lol)

That is arguable. Despite that I never regretted the things I have done and would do so again in a heartbeat, I would wish that I could make a more neutral solution. And the fact that I "lost" my best friend is the point that you can place a questionmark with. Was it really worth it to lose a good friend over a girl?
It's something that I will continue to think about for the next few years. I'll probably never get used to the fact that I actually made such a decision and all the consequences it had.


I doubt that was the case in this situation. I went directly (not vaguely, but directly) against his principes.

Let me put it differently. I tell you now to not post anymore; I forbid you to put even one more letter on this forum. Yet the next time I check the forum, I notice that you've written a novel that I can only dream of on the forum that overclasses the world's best sellers.
I did that with him as well. He took her as his responsibility and I made sure that she stayed away from him - and continued to keep them as far apart as possible. It's not completely as I say it is, but the point is taken, I assume.

In other words, it's not like he overrated himself. If there is any fault made, I should be the blame.
English is not my native language, but in my native language, friends tend to call such things "back stabbing" or "betraying." That's why it remains arguable whether I did the right thing or not. But whether it is, I believe that I did the right thing and do not regret it.

well, i'd still think that overall if there's no overwhelming regret, then it was probably the better choice
additionally, i'd think that if your friendship is important to you (or to him) then you should definitely try to do something about it...
now obviously, that's easier said than done... but depending on the type of friendship that you two have... i'd think that it'd be worth the effort... and if worse comes to worse... there was an attempt... (although how much was put into the attempt may also be a regrettable thing...) so i'd say, try it, and put everything you've got into it... and see how it goes...
also, considering that you're willing to admit that he was not wrong necessarily, then there's really no reason to be trying to let him make the first move towards making amends, is there?
besides, if worse comes to worse... he demands that you never appear before him again... isn't that pretty much how it is now?
on the other hand... maybe the friendship can be restored...
i'd say it's worth trying (but also, take this however it means to you, lol)

Because you may realize it is full with flaws and bound to go wrong some time? Although I am very well contradicting myself, considering that I didn't change anything about myself until it went 'wrong.'

well, that would depend on how "flawed" it has become, cuz obviously when it becomes so flawed for the situation, then it no longer is "working"
although that's not to say that precautions are not to be taken, seeing as it's very unwise to try to push it too long until the instant just before it fails, lol

Of course, but I wasn't only referring to bad experiences. I was also referring to positive things. There are times when you may conclude that you experienced too much of a single subject, if that is the right word to use.

I can read some people. I can tell you by heart what they are doing right now, how they are doing something and when they will finish what they are doing. That's how well I know them. Almost everyone has someone, or a few people they know that of.
An example I will give is an extreme one, but one that really happened. I was waiting for the bus together with a classmate and I saw a friend standing far away, also waiting for the bus. But I knew she had to take the same bus as me, but she - which she later told - thought she already missed this one. I was unsure whether it was her or not, so I kept starring. When she put on her lipstick, I realized it was her. So I decided to call her. While her phone was ringing, I told the classmate next to me exactly how she would react. I told her in which pocket she would search first, then the second pocket, I told the body language she would take on and especially the fact that she slightly started to panic because she couldn't find her phone. However, I knew very well where her phone was, despite that I hadn't seen her since a day ago. When she finally found her phone, I asked her to come to us. While she was walking towards us, our classmate was completely stunned that I knew exactly and with details how she would respond.
When you are able to do this with multiple people, it can become very quickly annoying. It is fun to do once, but the second time gets quickly on your nerves.

This is only one of the examples and in the form of a person. Situations, organisations and everything can work in a similar way. After spending time with something or someone, you get used to it. When it are 'unique' situations, rare ones, or simply the everyday situations, it can be quite nervebreaking.
The final example I will give: It can be fun for a long time to know everything people are talking about, but it gets annoying when you can relate to everything they mention.

well, the key is naturally, to have balance
i mean, it may seem like it's too much of that so called "good thing" but i'm certain that when something bad happens, those good things definitely wont seem too bad, lol
it's just unfortunate that there is rarely a direct balance and also, it's hard to perceive everything in a clear sense (seeing as most perceptions are merely a comparison of one thing to another)
and with regards to your example, i understand what you mean, lol
but if pertaining to only that example, those kind of things aren't all good or all bad, lol (it may be fun and joyful to one person, but there are typically other people involved, and their opinions could be different, lol)
but i'm sure that you understand that, and was merely trying to make a point (which i did indeed understand, lol)

I am glad you respect it, but I'm afraid I'll have to break that respect. I never have been addicted to drugs, but I stopped using it because I liked a girl in particular. I overheard her talking to someone that she broke up with her ex because he was using (too much) drugs. That was for me reason enough to stop it myself. Ironically after I lost interest in her, I didn't take it back on.

The self-control isn't much to be proud of either. I have always been quite good with influental stuff. My body (or mind) seems to handle it well. It has nothing to do with myself. And like I said, being able to act normal and want to act normal can be very different.

My determination is arguable as well. I need a person in particular (or multiple people) to motivate me to do something. In my case, it has been the same person for over three years now. She still seems to motivate me, and as long as I have her around every now and then, I can motivate myself to do something. So the determination is not as good as it may seem. And I'm quite proud. ^^

well, that's where i'd say that you're underestimating yourself
cuz regardless how much influence you draw from others to motivate yourself, who's the one making the actions?
it's always easier to try to push reasons and explanations onto others (even good things)
but the fact of the matter is that without the person doing things themselves, nothing would have been done...
at least you drew that motivation, there are many who couldn't even be motivated...
lastly, remember you can claim that you've done things for others, but unless you're not in control of yourself... then i'd think that you do understand that it requires more than just a reason for something to be done, there has to be someone who does it

Of course never regretting anything anymore is impossible. But trying to never regret something is something to do.

never regretting anything is not impossible; regret is not inevitable
the perception of error and thus regret is, though...
it is possible to never regret a thing, but the true task behind that is to work on what things you feel build up the regret, and try to do things in ways that you would not regret
still, that's not to say that that is easily done, it takes a special person to be able to pull it off
but that's not to say that we can't work towards it...
the mentality of being able to fix regrets and to accept them so that you no longer regret them is the next part
you'd try to fix it if the first part had failed, but you shouldn't keep the mentality to just let the other thing go...
it's like you had mentioned, saying stupid things, sure, you can just keep saying stupid things and then just trying to fix them afterwards... but it's definitely a whole lot more desirable to work at preventing it, and then just fixing the situation if that prevention fails

well, i'm pretty sure that you've got the point of that, lol, but i recall a story that this reminds me of, lol
It told of some man who told a child that every time he'd get into an argument with someone else, that the child should hammer a nail into a board of wood. Eventually the child had filled the board with a good deal of nails, and so he asked the man what he should do. The man replied that the child should go to amend those wrongs with those people and that for each wrong that was righted, the child should remove a nail from the board. Soon the child had removed all the nails and returned to the man, and the man showed him that although he had removed all the nails from the board, he could not remove the wholes that the nails had created and as such, although he had righted the wrongs, he could not completely remove the damage that had been done.
(btw, i had learned this story from Chinese, lol, so it's a rough translation, lol, but i'm sure that you'll understand it, lol)

Now that's an original answer. Most people I ask it reply that they don't feel any different - with one person as exception, who said that she felt even younger. "I feel like thirteen," was what she said, as I recall. On my question that it might be too young, she agreed: "I am twenty after all."
Yet I always told her not to complain: "I'm older than you are, how do you think I feel?"

But to go back a little on topic. I had a long weekend. *yawn*

Friday we decided to go out again with the 'usual' group. But for the first time it ended up being a bad one. None of us really felt like going and we were all tired. So we drank a little, we talked a little, but the subjects had no solid ground and quickly drifted away. A little after 10 in the evening, three of the six decided to leave. I was ready to leave as well, but I sticked with the remaining people. We decided to continue to a different bar and have a little drink.
One of the friends I went with decided to 'try his luck' with some girls, despite being taken. Every time he was being a little successful, the other person who was around got between them. Everytime she acted like his girlfriend, which made the other girls lose their interest. An interesting night, but I was far too tired to play any role in it.

The day afterwards is on my list of longest days ever. My suits were finished so I had to pick them up, I had a hair cut, I bought new shoes, I called four friends (despite of my, hopefully no more, "phone phobia") and finally I would go with two 'friends' to the cinema. Although I wasn't too enthousiastic about it because I was kinda pissed off at both. The evening ended up being very different than planned.

When we finally met at the cinema, all three of us came to the conclusion that we weren't in the mood at all to go watch a movie. So instead of going to the cinema, we decided to go get something to drink and talk a bit. This is where I went wrong. I drank too much, in a too short period of time. After a little while of talking, a friend with his girlfriend walked in and coincidentally saw us and sat by with us. Generally I had fun, but according to the friend who later joined us, I was kinda annoying - something I can relate to fully when I remember how I acted to him, but I can't remember being all that annoying to my other two companions. Nonetheless I'd like to apologize to one of my friends.

At the end of the night I was the first one to take the bus home. While in the bus, I waved at my friends who were still waiting... or at least, I thought I was waving at them. The person I waved to, waved back, but that person wore red gloves. Immediately I sent an sms asking my friend if I waved at her, because I couldn't recall that she wore red gloves. Almost immediately I received her reply: "No, that wasn't me." Which makes me wonder who I waved at and why she waved back at me.

And now... Sunday. A calm day with only a few phone calls to do... but a calm day nonetheless.

Now I am getting ready for bed. It's not my usual weekend. ^^

heh, lol
an original answer, sure, but i'd say that it's true, lol
most likely due to the fact that i've begun to focus on my life more than most others of my age perhaps...
and naturally, the tendency to look backward at all the things that we've done, will make one feel like there's so much
so much so, that it sometimes feels like its all just a dream... somewhat real, yet so surreal, and sometimes impossible...

well, your weekend would be somewhat more eventful than mine, lol (depending on opinion)
usually, i do a lot of stuff on the weekend (or on any other day as well) but i usually won't speak of it too importantly, for i know that a lot of it is just important to me, lol
for example, i've usually spent a lot of time on my computer... (and i've already mentioned that, lol)
but it's usually the stuff that i'd do on it that i feel proud of
typically, i dont go deeply into it and just allow people to assume that i'm just playing on the computer... and who's to say that i really am not?
but i like to think that it's a bit more than that... seeing as the main thing that i've done has been map editing for warcraft, but most of the work i've done has been to help others with what they're trying to do, lol (hence my liking to help others, lol)
also, this has greatly influenced me that i'd like to go deeper into programming, for even if i were not to pursue a profession in it, i'd like to have a bit of knowledge on it because it interests me (which i've begun to do, because i've requested to be added into a computer programming class at my school (even though i'd be added into the second term and would have missed the entire first term of the class, lol) but i think that i could do well in that class anyways)

 

[Fladian]

personally, i've been skimming over like 4 different forums everyday, lol (although, the depth of each varies as some of them i'm only involved in one particular area... lol)

I used to visit a lot of forums, but it has been cut down to a very low number. Visiting the SCH forum has a priority for me - and I need to visit it at the very least once every two days, although I prefer multiple times a day. All other forums are optional - although this is an easy one, as I only have to reply to one post. =P

that, i'd say occurs because i fell like helping people and also because i know of the subject matter quite well
i mean, i can't really help if i dont know anything about it, lol

But that doesn't mean you can't help them. You can always make an attempt. I have often accepted things to do despite that I had no clue how I would do it. Yesterday is an example of that. My boss asked me to take over the job of another colleague because he got injured in a football/soccer match and was unable to work. Unfortunately I don't have any knowledge about that kind of work.

many people can say a lot of stuff, but when time comes for action, they're no where to be found...

Exactly.

but at the same time, i'm not going to try and act like i'd know how you'd feel... i mean, i can very well understand feelings and emotions... but understanding and actually feeling the way one feels is a completely different story...

It's usually a matter of saying that doesn't make people think twice. But thank you, nonetheless.

well, luckily for me then, i'm pretty sure that i rarely make the stupidest of remarks... but, that's not to say that i dont make stupid decisions, lol (which is worse?, lol)

None of 'em are good. ^^

"I'm not sure what's making me hot... the beer, or you."

"Just grab anything you want to have. It's my treat." - a friend
*looks at the butt of a good looking girl*
"But if I do... I'll get sued." - another friend

yes, well, this point, i've noticed... but i can't say that i've never shown interest, but i'd think that it's just that i don't show direct interest towards anyone, lol

Well, that isn't bad. In one of the most serious talks I've had with a specific friend, I asked her how she would respond if a friend would walk up to her and said that he liked her (in a romantic sense), using myself as an example. She, in opposite of another friend, would not be bothered by it. She later (about two or three months later) proved that what she said was right. She then asked me if I would be capable of confessing my feelings to the girl I would like straight in her face. She wouldn't be able to and I said that I wasn't capable of that either - I added to it that people would notice that I would like them in the form of hints. In about the same time she proved that she kept her word, I decided not to keep my word and literally confessed my feelings to a girl I liked.

i wouldn't quite say that in such a sense necessarily, it was more of a friendly thing, but perhaps if i'd have been a bit more friendly in my reactions, perhaps i could have been more liked, lol

In the early stages of this forum (when it was still under a different name), I had a discussion with another forum member about being just friends with someone of the opposite sex. I saw absolutely no problem with it and am confident in saying that I have more girl-friends than I have guy-friends. If you look at the people I go out with (the solid group, that is) then you have two girls, one guy and me (so two on two). He thought it was impossible and that one of the two people always have second intentions.

(lol, and to think that i'd have the reverse concerns as well at times... for typically, i enjoy making origami, and more often then not, i'd make flowers and i'd give them to others (typically girls, lol, although i'd make other things if other guys asked for them)

Valentine's day is coming up. :wink: If you care, that is. Valentine doesn't live out here.

and ironically, i'd be afraid that they might get the wrong message, lol (although typically i tend to give them the flowers on their birthday))

Don't worry about people getting the wrong impression. In all honestly, that's their problem - not yours.

Although that I am saying that, I do admit that I am currently concerned that two friends are getting the right (or wrong) message. Although more worried about one of them than the other. I still don't know if I dreamed a particular conversation, or that it really happened...

well, there are two people, but it's quite meaningless if the other person has no interest or maybe even a feeling of disgust towards you

Oh, I don't know. I used to hang out daily with a girl I had a major crush on - which she knew - but both weren't really bothered by it. I also used to hang out a lot with a girl that was madly in love with me (extremely long story, sorry), but I had absolutely no feelings to return. And then there's a kid girl, fourteen years old, that has a crush on me. With all due respect, I do fall for younger girls, but not THAT young.

and i'm pretty sure that very few people would dislike me... i'm usually pretty careful about that, lol)

That's harder to notice than you may think. As you know, I keep the Quote of the Day and I have a lot of rumors and gossip stored in it. Besides that, I am very good at hearing and listening (and understanding what is being said; hearing and understanding can be two very different things). This is a great combination with my quotes.
And despite that there is one person in particular who is always honest (it's his best quality, but also his worst one), regardless of what happens. I have yet to catch him with a lie. He never had any critics to tell about me... except about last Saturday. "You were annoying, you know?"
But most remarkable, I never heard anyone, ever say something bad about a specific friend of mine.

When I was younger, I believed there was something like having the 'perfect personality', that people will all like you. But something like that seems impossible. Although just for her I am willing to bring those thoughts back up.

additionally, i'd think that if your friendship is important to you (or to him) then you should definitely try to do something about it...

now obviously, that's easier said than done... but depending on the type of friendship that you two have... i'd think that it'd be worth the effort... and if worse comes to worse... there was an attempt... (although how much was put into the attempt may also be a regrettable thing...) so i'd say, try it, and put everything you've got into it... and see how it goes...

We were each other's best friends. But I see no reason to either make up, or keep it this way. I don't know how it went for him, but my life continued. I have all kinds of new friends and I am really fond of every single one of them, with some very in particular.
He was someone I would do just about anything for, but time changes.

Like a song I am currently fond of goes: "Without you the clock ticks at the same pace. But times does change."

also, considering that you're willing to admit that he was not wrong necessarily, then there's really no reason to be trying to let him make the first move towards making amends, is there?

It was a matter of principes and I went straight against his. He believed his ways were right, I believed that my ways were right.

It doesn't matter who approaches who first. But I have no reason to do so.

on the other hand... maybe the friendship can be restored...
i'd say it's worth trying (but also, take this however it means to you, lol)

It might be worth trying. But I changed a lot over the past years. One of my (old) friends had a wrong impression of me a little while ago. He thought I was still as insecure as I used to be in the past... or at least, that I was even slightly insecure. When one of my friends made an 'insulting' remark to me, I immediately started to laugh. My old friend tried to defend me by saying that the remark should be taken as a compliment instead and that it appeared out of desperateness. I only had to laugh even louder upon hearing that: "If that is what you think, then you obviously don't know him well enough."

And another old friend was surprised when I told her that I was suffering from a hang over a number of weeks ago. "A hang over? You? I always thought you were still the innoccent kind of type."
Time changes. Although I like having people I like around me (who doesn't?), I see no reason to make anything up with him. Things have changed too much. I have grown much more arrogant than when I was younger and I've grown much mentally. I am not the type of person anymore that he would like to be friends with, and if changed in the ways I think he would have changed, he isn't the kind of friend I am waiting for either.

well, that's where i'd say that you're underestimating yourself
cuz regardless how much influence you draw from others to motivate yourself, who's the one making the actions?

True, but it remains a downside that the person (in this case: myself) requires something or someone to motivate him to do something. In other words: cannot find the motivation in himself.

It told of some man who told a child that every time he'd get into an argument with someone else, that the child should hammer a nail into a board of wood. Eventually the child had filled the board with a good deal of nails, and so he asked the man what he should do. The man replied that the child should go to amend those wrongs with those people and that for each wrong that was righted, the child should remove a nail from the board. Soon the child had removed all the nails and returned to the man, and the man showed him that although he had removed all the nails from the board, he could not remove the wholes that the nails had created and as such, although he had righted the wrongs, he could not completely remove the damage that had been done.
(btw, i had learned this story from Chinese, lol, so it's a rough translation, lol, but i'm sure that you'll understand it, lol)

I've heard of it before. =) Although I believe it is mostly asian than just Chinese.

so much so, that it sometimes feels like its all just a dream... somewhat real, yet so surreal, and sometimes impossible...

I agree. Since I was a kid, I have been writing stories. Both fictional as non-fictional. Because of several reasons, there has been a big gap between some ages. When looked in my folder of stories (especially the non-fictional ones), it is easy to notice that most are referring to the past and how I miss, regret or appreciate some things.

typically, i dont go deeply into it and just allow people to assume that i'm just playing on the computer... and who's to say that i really am not?

I can relate to that. I absolutely hate being 'looked down at', which is a habit of my father and an uncle. My father simply doesn't care about many things, which doesn't really touch me anymore. But my uncle used to have a long bad impression about me. Despite of my age, he still seems to think of me as a kid. "What? Is he playing games again on his computer?" and things like that. Although if you would look at my history on my computer, the number of games are minimum. And if I do play a game, then it usually requires a lot of load-time, which results in me doing other things too. But just playing games... no.

because i've requested to be added into a computer programming class at my school (even though i'd be added into the second term and would have missed the entire first term of the class, lol) but i think that i could do well in that class anyways)

Well, then I wish you the best of luck with it. =) I don't know anything about programming - that's my brother's area. I'm specialized in laws, administration and accountancy.

 

[edwinfong25]

I used to visit a lot of forums, but it has been cut down to a very low number. Visiting the SCH forum has a priority for me - and I need to visit it at the very least once every two days, although I prefer multiple times a day. All other forums are optional - although this is an easy one, as I only have to reply to one post. =P

well, i'd say its more or less the same for me, lol
i mean, at the moment, i've had a bit more time... but as i resume certain responsibilities, i'll probably cut a lot of time online altogether probably, lol
yes, only one post, but a long one at that, lol

But that doesn't mean you can't help them. You can always make an attempt. I have often accepted things to do despite that I had no clue how I would do it. Yesterday is an example of that. My boss asked me to take over the job of another colleague because he got injured in a football/soccer match and was unable to work. Unfortunately I don't have any knowledge about that kind of work.

yes, well, that would depend, lol
i'd say that i'd accept it so long as i'd think i can pull it off
whereas if there was no way that i'd be able to do it, then i'd have to think twice about it, lol (that's not to say i wont try, but i'd definitely be certain to mention a degree of uncertainty along with it, lol)

None of 'em are good. ^^

"I'm not sure what's making me hot... the beer, or you."

"Just grab anything you want to have. It's my treat." - a friend
*looks at the butt of a good looking girl*
"But if I do... I'll get sued." - another friend

yes, well, mistakes will be made, how you deal with them... hopefully wont be another one, lol

Well, that isn't bad. In one of the most serious talks I've had with a specific friend, I asked her how she would respond if a friend would walk up to her and said that he liked her (in a romantic sense), using myself as an example. She, in opposite of another friend, would not be bothered by it. She later (about two or three months later) proved that what she said was right. She then asked me if I would be capable of confessing my feelings to the girl I would like straight in her face. She wouldn't be able to and I said that I wasn't capable of that either - I added to it that people would notice that I would like them in the form of hints. In about the same time she proved that she kept her word, I decided not to keep my word and literally confessed my feelings to a girl I liked.

well, it may not be bad, but it's not necessarily good either, lol
all a matter of view, and i've not any problems with it at the moment, so, seems fine for now, lol

In the early stages of this forum (when it was still under a different name), I had a discussion with another forum member about being just friends with someone of the opposite sex. I saw absolutely no problem with it and am confident in saying that I have more girl-friends than I have guy-friends. If you look at the people I go out with (the solid group, that is) then you have two girls, one guy and me (so two on two). He thought it was impossible and that one of the two people always have second intentions.

hmm... well, i dont know how early you're referring to, lol (i recall joining when it was Warcraft 3 Anvil, lol (just not very active back then, lol))
well, i'd say that i dont see any problems with that either, lol
although... for me, nearly all my friends are male... and at the moment... the only female friend that i could possibly think of would be my friend's girlfriend (and i only know her through him anyways, lol)

Valentine's day is coming up. :wink: If you care, that is. Valentine doesn't live out here.

well, that's true, lol
but i'd think that hearts may fit the occasion a bit more in that case, lol (not that that's a big deal, lol, i know how to fold something of a heart, lol (so many variations, lol))
well, still, i really dont have anyone in my mind that i'd try to give anything to on Valentine's Day anyways, lol
and funny that you should mention whether it matters or not, lol
my friend (the one with the girlfriend) likes to joke that the day is completely pointless and is merely an attempt to force people to spend more time and money on something that is - or should be - done every day, lol

Don't worry about people getting the wrong impression. In all honestly, that's their problem - not yours.

Although that I am saying that, I do admit that I am currently concerned that two friends are getting the right (or wrong) message. Although more worried about one of them than the other. I still don't know if I dreamed a particular conversation, or that it really happened...

well, ultimately, it probably doesn't really matter much to me anyways, lol (i've never tried to do anything about it afterwards, lol)
but i'd say, there are definitely certain opinions that i'd prefer others to have, so i may try, but otherwise, it's not overly a concern, lol
(ah, that conversation? well, i'd suppose time will tell, lol)

Oh, I don't know. I used to hang out daily with a girl I had a major crush on - which she knew - but both weren't really bothered by it. I also used to hang out a lot with a girl that was madly in love with me (extremely long story, sorry), but I had absolutely no feelings to return. And then there's a kid girl, fourteen years old, that has a crush on me. With all due respect, I do fall for younger girls, but not THAT young.

yes, but i was referring more to trying to make something happen in that kind of situation, lol
which, i'd think... would more likely than not result in a not so pleasant situation...

That's harder to notice than you may think. As you know, I keep the Quote of the Day and I have a lot of rumors and gossip stored in it. Besides that, I am very good at hearing and listening (and understanding what is being said; hearing and understanding can be two very different things). This is a great combination with my quotes.
And despite that there is one person in particular who is always honest (it's his best quality, but also his worst one), regardless of what happens. I have yet to catch him with a lie. He never had any critics to tell about me... except about last Saturday. "You were annoying, you know?"
But most remarkable, I never heard anyone, ever say something bad about a specific friend of mine.

well, i've no doubt that it is indeed hard to notice in everyone
but at the same time, that's why i'd try to maintain myself in such a way that i won't have to over concern myself with that

and that reminds me of a teacher that i once had, lol
he was talking about whether it was better that a person seemed like he hated you, but in truth truly admired you within - or a person that seemed like he liked you, but in truth hated you to the core...
there was ultimately no answer to that discussion, but i still recall him jokingly saying that he'd definitely prefer the person who acted kind, but hated him because then at least he wouldn't know about it, and the other person would still be treating him nice in the meantime, lol

When I was younger, I believed there was something like having the 'perfect personality', that people will all like you. But something like that seems impossible. Although just for her I am willing to bring those thoughts back up.

well, i have similar thoughts... not quite as much as believing or not tho, just that i'd wonder if it can truly be done...
i mean, only considering the people that i know... (basically anyone who knows me)
i'd say that i was pretty close... but of course i'd also realize that there are many people whom i dont know, and there are those that will have conflicting personalities and thus wont like me
i mean, so far, i've only met one person who has showed a direct dislike towards me... but i just shrugged that person off considering he had poor relations towards anyone... (i never understood why he disliked me, just that he did... yet, i've never actually disliked him in return (mind you, i didn't like him, but i didn't dislike him, just avoided him so that there'd be no problems, lol) although nearly everyone else seemed to dislike him, lol)
still, all things factored... it may be impossible... but, i figure, why not do the best that i can anyways, lol

It might be worth trying. But I changed a lot over the past years. One of my (old) friends had a wrong impression of me a little while ago. He thought I was still as insecure as I used to be in the past... or at least, that I was even slightly insecure. When one of my friends made an 'insulting' remark to me, I immediately started to laugh. My old friend tried to defend me by saying that the remark should be taken as a compliment instead and that it appeared out of desperateness. I only had to laugh even louder upon hearing that: "If that is what you think, then you obviously don't know him well enough."

And another old friend was surprised when I told her that I was suffering from a hang over a number of weeks ago. "A hang over? You? I always thought you were still the innoccent kind of type."
Time changes. Although I like having people I like around me (who doesn't?), I see no reason to make anything up with him. Things have changed too much. I have grown much more arrogant than when I was younger and I've grown much mentally. I am not the type of person anymore that he would like to be friends with, and if changed in the ways I think he would have changed, he isn't the kind of friend I am waiting for either.

well, in a sense, i had not grasped the time elapsed from the situation, so my answer would have varied a bit, lol
well, it's a chance that can be tried if the time was ever "right"
but otherwise, yes, people will change, just as time does
and sometimes... if the old things don't go, how can the new ones come..? (lol, used loosely depending on the subject matter at hand, lol)

True, but it remains a downside that the person (in this case: myself) requires something or someone to motivate him to do something. In other words: cannot find the motivation in himself.

well, i'd still disagree, lol
cannot find the motivation within himself? perhaps not a direct motivation
motivation, as inspiration, can come from many sources, but the key is to whether or not that can inspire that person
like if a person were to fight to the death trying to save the one he loved... his motivation is the one that he loved, is it not?, and yet, in order for him to still do anything, that motivation must stir up the determination within himself, else nothing would happen anyways...
so, motivation doesn't have to come from the person themself, but the determination does

I've heard of it before. =) Although I believe it is mostly asian than just Chinese.

well, i wasn't referring to it's origins, lol
i was referring to the fact that my parents had told it to me in Chinese (Cantonese to be exact) and thus i couldn't tell it word for word and that it'd be a rough translation (also due to the fact that i do not remember every detail of it exactly as i had heard it either, lol)

I agree. Since I was a kid, I have been writing stories. Both fictional as non-fictional. Because of several reasons, there has been a big gap between some ages. When looked in my folder of stories (especially the non-fictional ones), it is easy to notice that most are referring to the past and how I miss, regret or appreciate some things.

yes, memories are quite precious, and also makes everything so illustrious, lol
one of the things that we make little effort to gain, yet invariably can't really lose (although that also allows for them to be taken for granted, lol)

I can relate to that. I absolutely hate being 'looked down at', which is a habit of my father and an uncle. My father simply doesn't care about many things, which doesn't really touch me anymore. But my uncle used to have a long bad impression about me. Despite of my age, he still seems to think of me as a kid. "What? Is he playing games again on his computer?" and things like that. Although if you would look at my history on my computer, the number of games are minimum. And if I do play a game, then it usually requires a lot of load-time, which results in me doing other things too. But just playing games... no.

haha, yes that's exactly how it seems, lol
although it'd be a bit different for me, seeing as both my mother and father always "hint" at the fact that i'm always just playing on the computer (or that i play on it too much)
and my sister doesn't really understand it much at all, lol
and thats basically my family, lol (all my other relatives are really far away...)
so, yeah, that's not overly desirable when they only notice me on the computer when i am indeed playing a game, but if i'm ever working (which i'd usually only do when they're not around, lest they interrupt me countlessly, lol) they wouldn't know, lol
so yeah, it's a tough situation, although in a sense, i've gotten a bit used to it... and they've backed off a little (although i doubt (pretty much know for a fact actually) that they still see it that way...
yes, similarly here, i've never been one who has had tons of games... (once again, i have relatives that are far away, so that lessens gifts if any) and i've pretty much had to get them myself... so i've always tried to pick very carefully, and usually stick with it for a long time, so i have few games, and probably even less game time (especially on the computer where one of my earliest games on the computer was Starcraft (mainly just the campaign, looked at staredit a few times but never did anything (also due to the fact that i didn't have much internet access, lol)), then Warcraft, and then i've been map editing for who knows how long on warcraft (and of course that led to my researching other things relating to programming and the such))

Well, then I wish you the best of luck with it. =) I don't know anything about programming - that's my brother's area. I'm specialized in laws, administration and accountancy.

thank you very much, and i'm sure that i'll be finding out how it goes very shortly, lol (second term of the school year starts tomorrow (err... in a few hours actually, lol))
so, time will tell (and very soon, lol)
and i hope that everything else has been quite well for you

 

[Fladian]

and i hope that everything else has been quite well for you

I'll reply to the other part of the post later, but let me just finish with this first:

Not everything is "quite well" for me at the moment. I'm sick. The flu and a fever.