Fladian said:
Weak excuse. I visit the SCH forum daily too.
lol, yes, well, nonetheless it's one of the so called "reasons"
and unfortunately, when you really look into it, a lot of "reasons" are typically just excuses...
personally, i've been skimming over like 4 different forums everyday, lol (although, the depth of each varies as some of them i'm only involved in one particular area... lol)
Fladian said:
Would that involve the next most random person that drops by?
well, that might depend on just how random they were, lol
and more likely on the type of help that they'd be looking for...
(i mean pertaining to like warcraft, i've helped many people with any questions pertaining to map editing whenever i can)
that, i'd say occurs because i fell like helping people and also because i know of the subject matter quite well
i mean, i can't really help if i dont know anything about it, lol
Fladian said:
No, I said it wrong. I meant that people tend to overrate them selves when asked what they would do in dire situations and when it comes to helping people in them. It's no real flaw of people, it's just that it is nearly impossible - unless experienced before (preferrably more than once) - to imagine the situation and conclude your own reactions based on that.
Everyone would want to do something if they can offer and actually help the person in need, especially when it is someone you consider a friend. That counts for you, for me and for just about anyone else in the world.
Although you're right in it too. Having the feeling of at least attempting to do something can be quite relieving.
A few months ago, an old friend of mine passed away. His heart suddenly stopped beating without any real reason. He was nineteen years old and has been a classmate of me for a thick five years. Despite that I hardly saw him after he transferred schools, I still had almost daily contact with him on MSN and that contact was growing shortly before he passed away. You are free to say that I was completely shocked when the news reached me that he passed away. That news was delivered to me about eight hours after his depart. Together with another friend we searched the internet, news on TV and radio almost instantly to find anything about what happened... but in vain. My friend was later contacted by his younger brother and my friend contacted me immediately after that. I'm not sure about my friend, but I hardly slept that night. It has been over three months now, and I still can't believe that he is no longer around.
Out of respect for him, my friend and I have done everything in our power to contact any old friend, classmate or simply the people he knew to inform them about the latest news. We managed to contact a lot of people, but we were unable to contact one former classmate and friend in particular. Yet we kept trying. As far as I know, we have tried everything. Phone numbers he gave us, emails, profile-sites on the internet, phone books, former classmates, the school he attended to, old friends of his, but we couldn't find anything - which remains hard to believe because he has a tendacy of showing up on TV, he being almost a genius when it comes to calculating specific things (things I don't know the slightest thing about) - about him. A complete month later my friend and I kept trying. Eventually we managed to get him on his phone. Because of (unknown) reasons he didn't pick up the phone, so we conversed by sms. It seemed that he was already up to date.
You are free to say that my friend and I were sorely disappointed that we couldn't contact him before his funeral, but we at least have the pride that we kept trying. And I think that is the best kind of goodbye we could have given our departed friend.
well, you may have said it wrong (in your opinion) but i'd say that i had interpreted it correctly (or maybe incorrectly for that matter, lol)
yes, i can understand that
many people can say a lot of stuff, but when time comes for action, they're no where to be found...
in all honesty... i can't say that i'm not like that... (that'd be a complete lie considering that many events and reactions are completely situational, and sometimes just instinctual)
but still, like i've said, i like to think that i'm better than that, lol (but only time can tell on this one, lol)
well, it's saddening for anyone to die...
and i'm sorry to hear that... but at the same time, i'm not going to try and act like i'd know how you'd feel... i mean, i can very well understand feelings and emotions... but understanding and actually feeling the way one feels is a completely different story...
also, i'm enlightened to hear that you had continued through, and eventually found him
Fladian said:
Being unsuccessful isn't that bad, as long as you don't do the same thing as me. Making the stupidist of remarks that are humanly possible.
Still, I'm not too serious in it around some.
But as for someone showing interest, that doesn't always have to come from one direction. =) There are two people in it together. =)
Yeah, it's nothing to worry about it. Worrying can only slow it down. =)
well, luckily for me then, i'm pretty sure that i rarely make the stupidest of remarks... but, that's not to say that i dont make stupid decisions, lol (which is worse?, lol)
yes, well, this point, i've noticed... but i can't say that i've never shown interest, but i'd think that it's just that i don't show direct interest towards anyone, lol
and actually, i might have to take back my comment, lol, depends, i mean, i've had some girls from my school, "show an interest" towards me, lol, but... i wouldn't quite say that in such a sense necessarily, it was more of a friendly thing, but perhaps if i'd have been a bit more friendly in my reactions, perhaps i could have been more liked, lol
(lol, and to think that i'd have the reverse concerns as well at times... for typically, i enjoy making origami, and more often then not, i'd make flowers and i'd give them to others (typically girls, lol, although i'd make other things if other guys asked for them), and ironically, i'd be afraid that they might get the wrong message, lol (although typically i tend to give them the flowers on their birthday)) so perhaps it's just that i make too much of an effort to not be with others, lol
heh, well, now my response to this part just sounds oddly misplaced after that last line, lol
well, there are two people, but it's quite meaningless if the other person has no interest or maybe even a feeling of disgust towards you, lol (but as you've noticed, that really doesn't concern me, lol, i'm just not too keen on finding a girlfriend, so i've never went out of my way to do anything about it... and i'm pretty sure that very few people would dislike me... i'm usually pretty careful about that, lol)
Fladian said:
That is arguable. Despite that I never regretted the things I have done and would do so again in a heartbeat, I would wish that I could make a more neutral solution. And the fact that I "lost" my best friend is the point that you can place a questionmark with. Was it really worth it to lose a good friend over a girl?
It's something that I will continue to think about for the next few years. I'll probably never get used to the fact that I actually made such a decision and all the consequences it had.
I doubt that was the case in this situation. I went directly (not vaguely, but directly) against his principes.
Let me put it differently. I tell you now to not post anymore; I forbid you to put even one more letter on this forum. Yet the next time I check the forum, I notice that you've written a novel that I can only dream of on the forum that overclasses the world's best sellers.
I did that with him as well. He took her as his responsibility and I made sure that she stayed away from him - and continued to keep them as far apart as possible. It's not completely as I say it is, but the point is taken, I assume.
In other words, it's not like he overrated himself. If there is any fault made, I should be the blame.
English is not my native language, but in my native language, friends tend to call such things "back stabbing" or "betraying." That's why it remains arguable whether I did the right thing or not. But whether it is, I believe that I did the right thing and do not regret it.
well, i'd still think that overall if there's no overwhelming regret, then it was probably the better choice
additionally, i'd think that if your friendship is important to you (or to him) then you should definitely try to do something about it...
now obviously, that's easier said than done... but depending on the type of friendship that you two have... i'd think that it'd be worth the effort... and if worse comes to worse... there was an attempt... (although how much was put into the attempt may also be a regrettable thing...) so i'd say, try it, and put everything you've got into it... and see how it goes...
also, considering that you're willing to admit that he was not wrong necessarily, then there's really no reason to be trying to let him make the first move towards making amends, is there?
besides, if worse comes to worse... he demands that you never appear before him again... isn't that pretty much how it is now?
on the other hand... maybe the friendship can be restored...
i'd say it's worth trying (but also, take this however it means to you, lol)
Fladian said:
Because you may realize it is full with flaws and bound to go wrong some time? Although I am very well contradicting myself, considering that I didn't change anything about myself until it went 'wrong.'
well, that would depend on how "flawed" it has become, cuz obviously when it becomes so flawed for the situation, then it no longer is "working"
although that's not to say that precautions are not to be taken, seeing as it's very unwise to try to push it too long until the instant just before it fails, lol
Fladian said:
Of course, but I wasn't only referring to bad experiences. I was also referring to positive things. There are times when you may conclude that you experienced too much of a single subject, if that is the right word to use.
I can read some people. I can tell you by heart what they are doing right now, how they are doing something and when they will finish what they are doing. That's how well I know them. Almost everyone has someone, or a few people they know that of.
An example I will give is an extreme one, but one that really happened. I was waiting for the bus together with a classmate and I saw a friend standing far away, also waiting for the bus. But I knew she had to take the same bus as me, but she - which she later told - thought she already missed this one. I was unsure whether it was her or not, so I kept starring. When she put on her lipstick, I realized it was her. So I decided to call her. While her phone was ringing, I told the classmate next to me exactly how she would react. I told her in which pocket she would search first, then the second pocket, I told the body language she would take on and especially the fact that she slightly started to panic because she couldn't find her phone. However, I knew very well where her phone was, despite that I hadn't seen her since a day ago. When she finally found her phone, I asked her to come to us. While she was walking towards us, our classmate was completely stunned that I knew exactly and with details how she would respond.
When you are able to do this with multiple people, it can become very quickly annoying. It is fun to do once, but the second time gets quickly on your nerves.
This is only one of the examples and in the form of a person. Situations, organisations and everything can work in a similar way. After spending time with something or someone, you get used to it. When it are 'unique' situations, rare ones, or simply the everyday situations, it can be quite nervebreaking.
The final example I will give: It can be fun for a long time to know everything people are talking about, but it gets annoying when you can relate to everything they mention.
well, the key is naturally, to have balance
i mean, it may seem like it's too much of that so called "good thing" but i'm certain that when something bad happens, those good things definitely wont seem too bad, lol
it's just unfortunate that there is rarely a direct balance and also, it's hard to perceive everything in a clear sense (seeing as most perceptions are merely a comparison of one thing to another)
and with regards to your example, i understand what you mean, lol
but if pertaining to only that example, those kind of things aren't all good or all bad, lol (it may be fun and joyful to one person, but there are typically other people involved, and their opinions could be different, lol)
but i'm sure that you understand that, and was merely trying to make a point (which i did indeed understand, lol)
Fladian said:
I am glad you respect it, but I'm afraid I'll have to break that respect. I never have been addicted to drugs, but I stopped using it because I liked a girl in particular. I overheard her talking to someone that she broke up with her ex because he was using (too much) drugs. That was for me reason enough to stop it myself. Ironically after I lost interest in her, I didn't take it back on.
The self-control isn't much to be proud of either. I have always been quite good with influental stuff. My body (or mind) seems to handle it well. It has nothing to do with myself. And like I said, being able to act normal and want to act normal can be very different.
My determination is arguable as well. I need a person in particular (or multiple people) to motivate me to do something. In my case, it has been the same person for over three years now. She still seems to motivate me, and as long as I have her around every now and then, I can motivate myself to do something. So the determination is not as good as it may seem. And I'm quite proud. ^^
well, that's where i'd say that you're underestimating yourself
cuz regardless how much influence you draw from others to motivate yourself, who's the one making the actions?
it's always easier to try to push reasons and explanations onto others (even good things)
but the fact of the matter is that without the person doing things themselves, nothing would have been done...
at least you drew that motivation, there are many who couldn't even be motivated...
lastly, remember you can claim that you've done things for others, but unless you're not in control of yourself... then i'd think that you do understand that it requires more than just a reason for something to be done, there has to be someone who does it
Fladian said:
Of course never regretting anything anymore is impossible. But trying to never regret something is something to do.
never regretting anything is not impossible; regret is not inevitable
the perception of error and thus regret is, though...
it is possible to never regret a thing, but the true task behind that is to work on what things you feel build up the regret, and try to do things in ways that you would not regret
still, that's not to say that that is easily done, it takes a special person to be able to pull it off
but that's not to say that we can't work towards it...
the mentality of being able to fix regrets and to accept them so that you no longer regret them is the next part
you'd try to fix it if the first part had failed, but you shouldn't keep the mentality to just let the other thing go...
it's like you had mentioned, saying stupid things, sure, you can just keep saying stupid things and then just trying to fix them afterwards... but it's definitely a whole lot more desirable to work at preventing it, and then just fixing the situation if that prevention fails
well, i'm pretty sure that you've got the point of that, lol, but i recall a story that this reminds me of, lol
It told of some man who told a child that every time he'd get into an argument with someone else, that the child should hammer a nail into a board of wood. Eventually the child had filled the board with a good deal of nails, and so he asked the man what he should do. The man replied that the child should go to amend those wrongs with those people and that for each wrong that was righted, the child should remove a nail from the board. Soon the child had removed all the nails and returned to the man, and the man showed him that although he had removed all the nails from the board, he could not remove the wholes that the nails had created and as such, although he had righted the wrongs, he could not completely remove the damage that had been done.
(btw, i had learned this story from Chinese, lol, so it's a rough translation, lol, but i'm sure that you'll understand it, lol)
Fladian said:
Now that's an original answer. Most people I ask it reply that they don't feel any different - with one person as exception, who said that she felt even younger. "I feel like thirteen," was what she said, as I recall. On my question that it might be too young, she agreed: "I am twenty after all."
Yet I always told her not to complain: "I'm older than you are, how do you think I feel?"
But to go back a little on topic. I had a long weekend. *yawn*
Friday we decided to go out again with the 'usual' group. But for the first time it ended up being a bad one. None of us really felt like going and we were all tired. So we drank a little, we talked a little, but the subjects had no solid ground and quickly drifted away. A little after 10 in the evening, three of the six decided to leave. I was ready to leave as well, but I sticked with the remaining people. We decided to continue to a different bar and have a little drink.
One of the friends I went with decided to 'try his luck' with some girls, despite being taken. Every time he was being a little successful, the other person who was around got between them. Everytime she acted like his girlfriend, which made the other girls lose their interest. An interesting night, but I was far too tired to play any role in it.
The day afterwards is on my list of longest days ever. My suits were finished so I had to pick them up, I had a hair cut, I bought new shoes, I called four friends (despite of my, hopefully no more, "phone phobia") and finally I would go with two 'friends' to the cinema. Although I wasn't too enthousiastic about it because I was kinda pissed off at both. The evening ended up being very different than planned.
When we finally met at the cinema, all three of us came to the conclusion that we weren't in the mood at all to go watch a movie. So instead of going to the cinema, we decided to go get something to drink and talk a bit. This is where I went wrong. I drank too much, in a too short period of time. After a little while of talking, a friend with his girlfriend walked in and coincidentally saw us and sat by with us. Generally I had fun, but according to the friend who later joined us, I was kinda annoying - something I can relate to fully when I remember how I acted to him, but I can't remember being all that annoying to my other two companions. Nonetheless I'd like to apologize to one of my friends.
At the end of the night I was the first one to take the bus home. While in the bus, I waved at my friends who were still waiting... or at least, I thought I was waving at them. The person I waved to, waved back, but that person wore red gloves. Immediately I sent an sms asking my friend if I waved at her, because I couldn't recall that she wore red gloves. Almost immediately I received her reply: "No, that wasn't me." Which makes me wonder who I waved at and why she waved back at me.
And now... Sunday. A calm day with only a few phone calls to do... but a calm day nonetheless.
Now I am getting ready for bed. It's not my usual weekend. ^^
heh, lol
an original answer, sure, but i'd say that it's true, lol
most likely due to the fact that i've begun to focus on my life more than most others of my age perhaps...
and naturally, the tendency to look backward at all the things that we've done, will make one feel like there's so much
so much so, that it sometimes feels like its all just a dream... somewhat real, yet so surreal, and sometimes impossible...
well, your weekend would be somewhat more eventful than mine, lol (depending on opinion)
usually, i do a lot of stuff on the weekend (or on any other day as well) but i usually won't speak of it too importantly, for i know that a lot of it is just important to me, lol
for example, i've usually spent a lot of time on my computer... (and i've already mentioned that, lol)
but it's usually the stuff that i'd do on it that i feel proud of
typically, i dont go deeply into it and just allow people to assume that i'm just playing on the computer... and who's to say that i really am not?
but i like to think that it's a bit more than that... seeing as the main thing that i've done has been map editing for warcraft, but most of the work i've done has been to help others with what they're trying to do, lol (hence my liking to help others, lol)
also, this has greatly influenced me that i'd like to go deeper into programming, for even if i were not to pursue a profession in it, i'd like to have a bit of knowledge on it because it interests me (which i've begun to do, because i've requested to be added into a computer programming class at my school (even though i'd be added into the second term and would have missed the entire first term of the class, lol) but i think that i could do well in that class anyways)