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What a cold, cold world
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<blockquote data-quote="Fladian" data-source="post: 127815" data-attributes="member: 5833"><p>What you say is true, Hunter. But Undead gave most of the point I could possibly give. The news shows these things nearly daily and people are starting to get used to it. When I hear on TV (or on the radio) that someone got shot, beat, killed or anything else in that category, it rarely happens that I'm surprised - unless it has something unique in it. When one of the most famous Dutch people here was killed (shot in public), I wasn't too surprised and not really shocked. Though the entire politic in the Netherlands was literally stunned (a song was created shortly afterwards about it: "Zinloos." (meaningless)).</p><p> Like most other people, I am used to it and rarely surprised when such a thing happens. Like Undead_Lives, I don't watch the news much either anymore, though I am still a loyal listener to the radio - especially in the morning, which is a news program - which I still hear most news on. Not lately though. But I need to follow the news a bit to understand the jokes of comedian Peter Heerschop which gives a ride of funny jokes at the end of the week regarding all things that came in the news. He even manages to make things like murder, sexual assault and similar other things funny - but even he knows the limits - but never has he denied the fact that they aren't terrible. I personally encourage his way of bringing the news (in a not-serious way) to attract a younger audience.</p><p></p><p>I did not witness a murder or the death of a person in my entire life. My grandma passed away when I was out of the room, my grandpa passed away when I wasn't around, a classmate of mine passed away in a selective circle of friends and family and the baby of the girl I love passed away when I wasn't there. I can't imagine how hard it would feel if it was witnessed personally and I doubt anyone can, unless they experienced it. Those are the four closest people to me that passed away. Not in a particular order though.</p><p> Dutch radio DJ (and presentator) <em>Ruud de Wild</em> witnessed the death of a Dutch politician. As a matter of fact, if he didn't lift his briefcase, he was shot as well. When this happened, he took six months off from his work to recover from the shock. <em>De Wild</em> is well known for his harshness and ability to shrug something from his off. This is of a level even he cannot shrug it off of him. <em>Ruud de Wild</em> is internationally known.</p><p></p><p>I am also related in a way to three people that were sexually assaulted; or bluntly put: raped. Two of those are family; the other one being the girl I love and care for. One of those family got completely over it, the other one doesn't talk about it. Eitherway, in both cases it has been a long time ago. As for the other girl, which isn't family, it is a lot worse. Though I will never can get a confirmation of anything, my theory is that something in her mind was triggered after that and she mostly fell apart from the inside after that. As far as I know, she still hasn't recovered completely just yet. Shocked as I was, I promised to protect and care for her whenever I have the ability to do so. This was painful for myself as well.</p><p></p><p>But despite offering help to them when something has happened, it doesn't always mean much can be done. At a particular point in the year 2006, I was completely furious with myself - and still am, and probably will always be. When at that point, a great friend sms'ed me (knowing that I have a phone-fear) that she lost her baby I was at a party and a little drunk. The news got to me, but it didn't hit me. I replied: "Oh, bummer," or something in those words. At that point, I didn't realize the seriousness of that moment because I couldn't think clear and was in a hilarious mood. When I woke up the next day, I had a bad aftertaste and decided to read again what was sent to me. I was stunned when I read it and what I replied. That is something I can never make up to her, in my opinion. Though numerous times she told me to forget about it and that it was understandable. Personally, I don't agree with that. She came to me to seek comfort and I brushed it off with a non-emotional: "Oh, bummer." (not literally; English is not my first language)</p><p></p><p>Feeling disappointed about others is not really justified. People see every kind of abuse (including murder) nearly daily. If it isn't on the news, then it is a movie or something in the newspaper. It isn't shocking anymore and people get used to it. You don't know what hits you until it finally hits. And then it hits hard.</p><p> I grew up in one day. When I heard that the baby of a girl I loved passed away and I started to realize what the cause was, I was stunned. I got in a giant depression and cried several times and couldn't get a good grip on myself because I tried to deny reality. Have I recovered from it? Not completely just yet; it's still too fresh in my memory. Out of desperation from my own powerless self, I decided to consult people with experience of this. This is the only time I quoted myself in the Quote of the Day when I was in a mental depression.</p><p>24/06/06 "Consulting someone experienced, a doctor and now a realist. I hope this is the right thing to do." - Me, aka. Fladian.</p><p>In order to get over it, I consulted three people. Someone who experienced something similar before, someone who was studying to become a doctor - or rather, psychiatist - and finally someone who could have a realistic point of view in the matter. All three were unrelated. You could say that they did their job well. =)</p><p></p><p>Hunter, you also say that people should acknowledge it. And then? What should they do. Should they mourn for every thing that happens? Unfortunately every day someone passes away nearly daily. Naturally or not naturally. It is something that cannot be stopped for millions of reasons. </p><p>You also say why do people do this. Murder speaks for itself, but sexual abuse usually involves getting the kicks and being excited. There are numerous people that love it (either the victim or the assaulter) and approve it. You could call them sick, but are they really? </p><p>Undead also made a good point. Humans are from nature very selfish and often put them selves on a first place, meaning that others get a second place and not being as important. People would rather save them selves than someone else; that's natural. Not necessarily good, but it is natural. People who are not related to it may get involved. Or rather, will probably get involved.</p><p></p><p>I agree with you on the fact that those who got through it got over it and continued to live. I admire one of my family members for being how she is. The girl I love did not get over it, however. Her <em>system</em> crashed and the body decided not to accept it. As a result: she forgot about it. When asked, she can't remember a thing about it. She does remember the result, however.</p><p> I personally didn't get over it too well and am still emotionally hurt. Though that isn't surprising; I am a very emotional guy and such things hit me deep in the heart.</p><p></p><p>You could say that these people who do all this are sick. And you cannot forgive them for doing such. It is all terrible and I agree. But how would you think of the people that look at it and do not do anything about it?</p><p> I write about such events. Not how terrible it is that someone is murdered, who horrible it is that someone is sexually abused but how they continue to live and how the enviroment suddenly adjusts. You are looked at differently when people are aware that you are related to any of those events. This is the subject I write about and am generally interested in. The story I have been working on for about a year, <em>Whatever walks here... walks alone</em> is about several of those situations and how their effort is to continue normal life and finally how they have to adjust to the people around them and how the people around them change towards them.</p><p></p><p>There is no reason to be disappointed in some people. That's just how life goes in this <em>cold, cold world.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fladian, post: 127815, member: 5833"] What you say is true, Hunter. But Undead gave most of the point I could possibly give. The news shows these things nearly daily and people are starting to get used to it. When I hear on TV (or on the radio) that someone got shot, beat, killed or anything else in that category, it rarely happens that I'm surprised - unless it has something unique in it. When one of the most famous Dutch people here was killed (shot in public), I wasn't too surprised and not really shocked. Though the entire politic in the Netherlands was literally stunned (a song was created shortly afterwards about it: "Zinloos." (meaningless)). Like most other people, I am used to it and rarely surprised when such a thing happens. Like Undead_Lives, I don't watch the news much either anymore, though I am still a loyal listener to the radio - especially in the morning, which is a news program - which I still hear most news on. Not lately though. But I need to follow the news a bit to understand the jokes of comedian Peter Heerschop which gives a ride of funny jokes at the end of the week regarding all things that came in the news. He even manages to make things like murder, sexual assault and similar other things funny - but even he knows the limits - but never has he denied the fact that they aren't terrible. I personally encourage his way of bringing the news (in a not-serious way) to attract a younger audience. I did not witness a murder or the death of a person in my entire life. My grandma passed away when I was out of the room, my grandpa passed away when I wasn't around, a classmate of mine passed away in a selective circle of friends and family and the baby of the girl I love passed away when I wasn't there. I can't imagine how hard it would feel if it was witnessed personally and I doubt anyone can, unless they experienced it. Those are the four closest people to me that passed away. Not in a particular order though. Dutch radio DJ (and presentator) [i]Ruud de Wild[/i] witnessed the death of a Dutch politician. As a matter of fact, if he didn't lift his briefcase, he was shot as well. When this happened, he took six months off from his work to recover from the shock. [i]De Wild[/i] is well known for his harshness and ability to shrug something from his off. This is of a level even he cannot shrug it off of him. [i]Ruud de Wild[/i] is internationally known. I am also related in a way to three people that were sexually assaulted; or bluntly put: raped. Two of those are family; the other one being the girl I love and care for. One of those family got completely over it, the other one doesn't talk about it. Eitherway, in both cases it has been a long time ago. As for the other girl, which isn't family, it is a lot worse. Though I will never can get a confirmation of anything, my theory is that something in her mind was triggered after that and she mostly fell apart from the inside after that. As far as I know, she still hasn't recovered completely just yet. Shocked as I was, I promised to protect and care for her whenever I have the ability to do so. This was painful for myself as well. But despite offering help to them when something has happened, it doesn't always mean much can be done. At a particular point in the year 2006, I was completely furious with myself - and still am, and probably will always be. When at that point, a great friend sms'ed me (knowing that I have a phone-fear) that she lost her baby I was at a party and a little drunk. The news got to me, but it didn't hit me. I replied: "Oh, bummer," or something in those words. At that point, I didn't realize the seriousness of that moment because I couldn't think clear and was in a hilarious mood. When I woke up the next day, I had a bad aftertaste and decided to read again what was sent to me. I was stunned when I read it and what I replied. That is something I can never make up to her, in my opinion. Though numerous times she told me to forget about it and that it was understandable. Personally, I don't agree with that. She came to me to seek comfort and I brushed it off with a non-emotional: "Oh, bummer." (not literally; English is not my first language) Feeling disappointed about others is not really justified. People see every kind of abuse (including murder) nearly daily. If it isn't on the news, then it is a movie or something in the newspaper. It isn't shocking anymore and people get used to it. You don't know what hits you until it finally hits. And then it hits hard. I grew up in one day. When I heard that the baby of a girl I loved passed away and I started to realize what the cause was, I was stunned. I got in a giant depression and cried several times and couldn't get a good grip on myself because I tried to deny reality. Have I recovered from it? Not completely just yet; it's still too fresh in my memory. Out of desperation from my own powerless self, I decided to consult people with experience of this. This is the only time I quoted myself in the Quote of the Day when I was in a mental depression. 24/06/06 "Consulting someone experienced, a doctor and now a realist. I hope this is the right thing to do." - Me, aka. Fladian. In order to get over it, I consulted three people. Someone who experienced something similar before, someone who was studying to become a doctor - or rather, psychiatist - and finally someone who could have a realistic point of view in the matter. All three were unrelated. You could say that they did their job well. =) Hunter, you also say that people should acknowledge it. And then? What should they do. Should they mourn for every thing that happens? Unfortunately every day someone passes away nearly daily. Naturally or not naturally. It is something that cannot be stopped for millions of reasons. You also say why do people do this. Murder speaks for itself, but sexual abuse usually involves getting the kicks and being excited. There are numerous people that love it (either the victim or the assaulter) and approve it. You could call them sick, but are they really? Undead also made a good point. Humans are from nature very selfish and often put them selves on a first place, meaning that others get a second place and not being as important. People would rather save them selves than someone else; that's natural. Not necessarily good, but it is natural. People who are not related to it may get involved. Or rather, will probably get involved. I agree with you on the fact that those who got through it got over it and continued to live. I admire one of my family members for being how she is. The girl I love did not get over it, however. Her [i]system[/i] crashed and the body decided not to accept it. As a result: she forgot about it. When asked, she can't remember a thing about it. She does remember the result, however. I personally didn't get over it too well and am still emotionally hurt. Though that isn't surprising; I am a very emotional guy and such things hit me deep in the heart. You could say that these people who do all this are sick. And you cannot forgive them for doing such. It is all terrible and I agree. But how would you think of the people that look at it and do not do anything about it? I write about such events. Not how terrible it is that someone is murdered, who horrible it is that someone is sexually abused but how they continue to live and how the enviroment suddenly adjusts. You are looked at differently when people are aware that you are related to any of those events. This is the subject I write about and am generally interested in. The story I have been working on for about a year, [i]Whatever walks here... walks alone[/i] is about several of those situations and how their effort is to continue normal life and finally how they have to adjust to the people around them and how the people around them change towards them. There is no reason to be disappointed in some people. That's just how life goes in this [i]cold, cold world.[/i] [/QUOTE]
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