note: I couldn't think of a good title.
Every day, every school day I walk to the train station which is only a few minutes away from where I live. The latest period my school starts is a 11:20 (AM) and the earliest is 8:30 (AM), eitherway, I have to leave at least half an hour (sometimes an hour or 45 minutes) early. But no matter at what time I leave home, I always see the recent build train station when I reach it.
It's quite a boring sight when I look at it daily. It a pain for the eye to see it being build, destroying a complete pile of land which used to be there. A friend and I went out there at least a few times a year just to have fun. There wasn't anything special, it was just a lot of... land. Grass, flowers and no houses on the horizon, a grand sight for the eye. That friend and I used to ride there a lot during the summer with our bike, but we never really got to the end of the road. Usually we stopped halfway and then went back. If either he or I had an interest in fishing, we could easily have developped that interest further there in a small pond. But because neither of us had a particular interest to it at that point, we never made us of the point, except for throwing rocks in it from time to time out of boredom. What might be the most beautiful part of that piece of land was the sunrise and sunset. I've rarely seen the sunrise from there, but I've seen the sunset numerous times. Every time that friend and I were playing out there when we were young, we always stopped for a moment of our time to enjoy the sunset. It was the only place we knew, and we could easily reach, where we could see such a beautiful sunset.
Unfortunately, that place is gone now. There are houses on once the beautiful horizon now and even a small mall. To compesate the loss of the grand view, my friend and I decided to walk past the houses and the mall. It did not give the feeling of when we were children, but the walk was long enough to talk about complicated things and even let your heart speak if necessary. Sometimes we increased the distance of the walk by walking to the next train station and back. When we increased its length, we usually went to see and visit a friend that lived on that route; not necessarily because we wanted to see him, but because we were in need of something or just wanted to rest.
Despite that I enjoyed the walk over and over again, it never gave the same feeling as once the grand plains.
When the train station was being build and we didn't decide to go walk yet, we often sat under the bridge of the train station which was still being build. It wasn't a pleasant place to be, but because it was still under construction, no trains came by and cars rarely passed us because it was a dead end. Sometimes a few people on a bike passed us, but that was acceptable. While sitting there, we could talk about a lot of things, though it were often the same subjects, which are hard to explain. It was at that place where I decided that I would write a story about what he, another friend and I used to play when we were children.
While sitting under the station it left little to your imagination about views. Which was once a beautiful sight turned into a big sea of mud and loose sand. Nothing was left from the beautiful view, except for the pond which turned into a small stream of mud.
When the train station was finished, I never believed that I could see such a sight again. The large amount of land which you could not see an end of at the horizon, the rest and calm feeling under the bridge and the long distant walk were feelings which would never return. They were three important parts of me which could make me calm again when I was starting to get mad about something. Maybe the friend I spend time with there played a role in it too; but our friendship has decreased badly over the last few years. If we'd get together some time, alone, we might be able to make up from lost times, but I doubt any of us are willing to do so. We still talk to each other once in a while by coincidence, but when compared to the life when we were children, nothing was left. Our interests has gone completely different sides as well, though we have similar ambitions. He eventually started a doctor, or psychiatrist study course and I opened my studies with accountancy, which I graduated from two years later and am currently studying laws. If we will follow our paths without finding too much rumble, we will never meet again after one of us moves away from this city, which both of us are eager to do.
When we think about each other, we have a lot to thank each other for. We were, as people would have called it, childhood friends for nearly our entire childhood. We started to grow apart when I reached the age of eighteen and he reached the age of six- or seventeen. Something inbetween, I guess. He taught me how to think rationally, being able to remain calm when necessary but he also taught me how it felt to ask for advice. Until the day of today, he is the person I trusted the most when it came to advice. He has no difference in opinion about myself and I taught him a lot too. An anger control, might be a hard term to use, but my case of getting mad is not different from being online as in real life. Childhood friends or not, I do not believe he has seen me mad more than a few times. But also, where I learned English from my older brother, he learned most of his English from me. I cannot be compared to my brother when it comes to English grammar, but my friend can be compared to me.
You could say that we have a rich history of memories when we look behind us. I am sure I can say without any hesitation that either of us would gladly turn back time if it was possible.
What gave me the most happiest of thoughts was the free space in the lands though. After the station was built, I officially searched for a similar place. Unfortunately, the country I live in is over populated and despite carrying the name of a 'farmer's country,' little of it is true anymore. There are places with still a lot of free open space of land, but if you look carefully enough, you can see houses or any other modern equipment on the horizon. That wasn't the case when I was young, or maybe it was my childish look on things that made it looks so big and beautiful. But whatever was the case I did find a new place; it was the first time I could close my eyes and think of what happened since that station was built. Yes, the Northen part of our little country - the Frisian area, Fryslan. That area still has places I dreamt of and still yearn to. The people that live there, Frisians, that are nearly impossible to compare to the average Dutchman, are different. I am not Frisian and can never be one, but I can learn and act for what they stand for. Ironically enough, a Frisian girl has a particular liking towards me and I share most of those feelings for her too.
Now I look back at the finished station, only those memories are what makes me calm, nothing else. It is just an ordinary train station now, with a train passing by every half hour. I won't deny that it is useful though, after all, I go to school by train every day. But I won't deny either that I miss the place what it used to be. The cold stone of the pillars, the plastic seats and the glass windows look dull and emotionless, something completely different to what I was used to.
What beauty is left in that train station and its surroudings? The empty grounds was gone, houses were built and being build, heck, there even was a mall. While I'm writing this, people are still working on the area around it to finish. Parkinglots, more houses and even a few business-buildings are being built now, two parkinglots and one building being finished already. But still a lot is unfinished and much junk is left, which really doesn't make it look pretty.
This is all I could think of when I looked at the cold train station for a long time. It lasted from the moment it was beint build until the day it was finished. On the date of 14 September, 2006, my opinion changed. Out of pure boredom of a friend (another friend and classmate at that time) and myself, I asked her, that friend, if she felt like coming with me. We always shared the same train and my stop (where I have to get in to go to school, or out when I go home) was one earlier than hers. Or later if we are going to school, or anywhere else for that matter. With nothing memorable happening at my house (the three most memorable things was her reaction when she saw my pet bird, some old photos of me (I had long hair) and some comments about music) she finally left to go home too (early), because she had to work the next day. Naturally, I walked her to the station, despite the short walk. The day, originally, was nothing out of the ordinary until we reached the train station.
The train was a few minutes late, therefore we sat on one of the few plastic benches there on the train station. It shaked quite a lot when a train passed us (different train). "A little harder and it rips it right off," was what one us said upon the train passing us by. But as we sat there, both placing our heads against the plate behind the bench, I watched the clear sky again since a long, long time. The peace and quietness, the calm around me and a great weather which left nothing to the imagination which wasn't there. Without any control over my body for once, I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the peace; while not being sure what she was doing. Despite the calm, we kept talking, even after I closed my eyes. Just in an instant, I could feel the other times again, the time which I cherished so much. Because we ran out of useful subjects, I raised my right arm in the sky, while still resting my head backwards. Besides the clear blue sky, my arm suddenly joined its view of her and mine. "Did you know I had a scar on my right wrist?" I asked but not too interested in her answer. I pity myself that I once was in need of a physical memento to being able to do something; to motivate, to inspire myself. The scar isn't visible anymore during normal days. On very cold days, you can still see signs of it, but normally it is no longer there. Despite of all the good things it has done for me, it is no longer required and I am happy that it is gone. I am intending to wear a wristband to completely erase the memory from my mind.
Before I even knew it I saw the train in front of me. I waved her goodbye and all the kind of usual stuff and saw her leave. If her train was later than it was, I would have sat there longer. If the train wouldn't be late at all, I might have never sat there, thinking about what I thought of at that time and enjoying the moment as long as it lasted. I didn't really take the time to sit on the bench again, but while sitting there is a time which I will remember for years to come. The feeling I had as a child in the giant plains, the feeling as a teenager under the bridge and the feeling as a young adult when walking that distance all came back. Sitting there with my eyes closed, peace around me and someone to care for next to you is something I always have dreamt of, and will only strive to make it happen again, but this time permanent.
A little more than a month has passed, but the time I closed my eyes, which surely wasn't more than a few seconds, is a moment that I still feel like it was only a few minutes ago. Not weeks, not days, but minutes. The clear blue sky, the peaceful enviroment, the for once beautiful view and the person next to me at that very moment is a memory that should be cherished.
A memory that should never be forgotten.
I'll get to that.