Cheating relationships

[Fladian]

Every day a program on TV is aired, which gives information about several artists, bands, rappers, etc. who are popular at that moment or did something worth mentioning. You know the drill. They also give a statement daily which completely varies from subjects. Because some politic stuff is going on here, everything is currently focused on that. A statement they threw in a few weeks ago caught my interest a bit, apparently some of the people who watched the same program thought the same, until one of them sent a good message to the studio. The following is the statement and the results:

It is alright to cheat once in your relationship.
Agreed: 82%
Disagred: 12%

One of the viewers of the program asked a question to the two presentators, which caused them to stop the entries of the poll, which I just mentioned and that being the final result. The new statement was the following:

Is kissing cheating?

Reactions of the two presentators was the following:

"Yes, it is. Well, a birthday kiss isn't, but when the tongue decides to say 'hi' then it sure is.

Unfortunately, I was unable (as always) to watch the program 'till the end and they never rerun the polls/statements. The program starts (and ends) at a very unpleasant time for me, which always results in me missing the begin and end. Now I am curious what other people think of it. Is kissing cheating on your relationship?
I brought this question up to two other people too, one agreeing with it. She told me that "kissing usually is the first step of cheating," the other one disagreed, saying that that is 'life.' In all honestly, I, personally, have mixed feelings about it and I honestly would not dare to give my (real) opinion in it, as whichever side I would take, I would be contradicting myself.

So again, what would be your opinion about it? Is kissing cheating?

 

[Undead_Lives]

Is kissing cheating? Yup. I quite agree with the quote you have there actually. When the tongue says hi, you know you're cheating.

 

[Arkidas]

It really depends on who it is. If your family knows the person & they know that you aren't going to have no sexual relationship, I'd say it's not cheating since it would just be a way of expressing your love of the person as a friend. A quite daring expression there I must say but it's still something I could well imagine If it's not someone your family knows, you're cheating, I think. That could be a result of getting drunk, but if you're doing it when you're drunk you might not be cheating. I don't know anything about that, I haven't got drunk. That's about what I have to say about this matter.

 

[Squishy-1]

i consider cheating doing anything against your partners standards, for instance my bros girlfriend would get mad and throw phones and stuff if he watched a tv show with a girl in it and even though thats really strict she considered it cheating. but if your partner willing wants a threesome and they now your going to be with some one else i dont consider it cheating

 

[Xeridanus]

Very interesting topic. i agree mostly with Squishy-1, except it also depeands on your own standards. im talking about doing something with someone that makes you feel like you have cheated your partner. if that includes kissing then i guess you cheated. also, to be considered is intent. if you intend on cheating with someone, begin to kiss them and get caught (make up your own scenario) by your partner before you touched them, i consider that cheating.

but the problem is not what is and what isn't cheating. the problem is why somone has been pushed to cheating. thats just my opinion.

 

[Fladian]

A quite daring expression there I must say but it's still something I could well imagine

I'd have a similar thought about it, but honestly, I shouldn't state my opinion.
"That's life," was something that had a point. As it is something that generally happens.

That could be a result of getting drunk, but if you're doing it when you're drunk you might not be cheating. I don't know anything about that, I haven't got drunk.

*raises hand*
Well, in all honestly, I didn't kiss anyone when I was drunk (I think ), however, I was kissed. By the girlfriend of a friend, as I recall. I wasn't that drunk at that moment just yet. Her boyfriend stood about a meter away from us. I'm not sure how his mind was working, but I do know that he couldn't walk straight anymore... but then again, so couldn't I, but I was still clear minded.

i consider cheating doing anything against your partners standards, for instance my bros girlfriend would get mad and throw phones and stuff if he watched a tv show with a girl in it and even though thats really strict she considered it cheating.

Wow, that's really strict. You can't imagine how happy I was with such an open relationship as I was in. However, I personally am of opinion that what you just mentioned goes a bit too far.
Words like, "you may watch but not touch," is something which is heard often and I even heard some "you may not even watch," but that's quite rare. Naturalyl I am against the second. A former boss of mine told me he had quite an open relationship as well. I quoted him somewhere in my quote of the day, as I recall. "Yeah, I remembered her going to a dark corner in the pub with some guy." "Did you mind?" "No, of course not. We were pretending not to know each other to have as much fun as possible. We do this once in a while."

I personally am of opinion of what you say, that it would also depend on the partner's standards. Depending on the girl, I would probably not respect those standards you just mentioned. I always said that I wanted to keep my freedom, though I guess I shouldn't say that too loud either. I always said I would be quite satisfied with just about any girl too a few years ago, yet I am single again.

A few months ago I talked to a very close friend about a somewhat similar subject, which I declared that I am not prepared of letting all my (girl)friends 'run out the door' when I get in a relationship. The number of (girl)friends probably are more than my (male)friends and I am not intending to stop hanging out with them. As far as I heard, some girls I know/knew said something similar, but backed out after getting into a relationship. For me, it's really a price I wouldn't pay.
But on the other hand, I don't kiss anyone intensively either. Just a few innocent kisses from my (and the other) side, which I am not convinced of it is cheating. Someone I mentioned in my starter post is however.

im talking about doing something with someone that makes you feel like you have cheated your partner.

Would that involve feeling bad and/or disgusted?

the problem is why somone has been pushed to cheating. thats just my opinion.

Loss of feelings to the current partner? Accident? Similar feelings to another person? Spontanity? All should be perfectly possible.

I generally have little to mention in this subject. One of them is because, which side I am going to agree on, I will contradict myself, as I mentioned in the first post. The other one is that I have been in a very open relationship, which didn't remove any bit of our freedom and left everything mostly the same. *sigh*

 

[ragingspeedhorn]

Kissing is cheating, definetly. Though cheating is quite common around me and my friends, only one of my friends have never cheated on a girlfriend of his, the rest of us have.

 

[Fladian]

Doesn't sound like a good thing to me. But then again, most of my friends has proven to be quite loyal to their boy/girlfriend currently, with one amazing exception. Though that is hard to call cheating, as he first breaks up.

But you could ask this question at yourself too? For those who have a boy- or girlfriend, how would they feel? Or how would you (eventually) feel?

 

[Squishy-1]

people react differently to cheating (as i have experianced) some threaten to kill, some cry some just run away and stuff like that. i do not like people who cheat because they need to save some girls (or guys if u swing that way) for the rest of us

 

[Undead_Lives]

If I had a gf (ya right >.>) and I caught her cheating, I'd just dump her on the spot. Simple and effective.

 

[ragingspeedhorn]

..and beat the crap out of the other guy with a shovel*

 

[Undead_Lives]

Most of the time the other guy doesn't even know that she's cheating, so it wouldn't be very fair >.>

 

[Jupackazoin]

Alright, this coming from a guy who is engaged:
Kissing is cheating.
Thinking about kissing another person is cheating, unless said person is a family relative/or someone I trust extremely well, and the kiss is for birthday/special event whatever, no tongue, only quick peck.
Open relationships sound more like sex-budies than anything else.
Cheating is very bad, that means you can't trust that person.
And no way would I still be engaged if I found out something like that had/is happened/ing. Full stop.

 

[Fladian]

Alright, this coming from a guy who is engaged:

Let me be the first on this forum to say: Congratulations, Jupackazoin.

Open relationships sound more like sex-budies than anything else.

Well, that's a bit harsh to me... uh... us.
The relationship I was in had little restrictions, mostly because we never got anything official. What started out as friends got completely out of hand, something I... regret in some way, and will probably regret for the rest of my life. But calling it "sex-budies" is something quite inaccurate in my... err... our case - am I starting to make a habit of referring to myself lately? However, we had the freedom of each other to try our luck with others as well, but in the end, we would (or not successful ) probably return to each other.
Though our feelings towards each other were not as fierce as it should have been, which kept our options quite open.

Cheating is very bad, that means you can't trust that person.

That's obvious, now isn't it? Or at least, the second part, as there (apparently) are numerous of people that don't agree with cheating being a bad thing (as the result of the poll on that TV-show mentioned too).

And no way would I still be engaged if I found out something like that had/is happened/ing. Full stop.

Fair enough. Truth to be known, I am not sure where you exactly are from, but it happens more often that most would like. Simply because many can't control their emotions at some time. In this case, I cannot say what I would do if given the opportunity, as such reactions are often spontaneous and not something you can give a normal answer to when it is given as a question, unless already experienced.
However, there also many people who are engaged and are aware of their partner cheating on him, or her. This does not always force a break up though, as some are able to live with it, how strange something like could sound. "Love can overcome everything," is what they say, isn't it?

As for something else, by pure coincidence, I remembered a party I was at about a year ago. I'm not sure what the party was about, but I do know most people were drunk and I was drinking a bit too. This was partly because I was a bit depressed about something that happened earlier that week/month, which I cannot really remember anymore. The neighbour of the friend who was given the party was cheering me up by telling me some stuff - which I cannot really remember, except that we both pissed on a (or more accurate: his) car later - about what he experienced on a similar subject. During his speech towards me, he also referred to some friends who also came to the party, taking two friends (a couple) in particular, mentioning that their relationship would eventually crumble - which I don't agree on. After he got me a bit drunk, he managed to convince the girl of the couple to kiss me, - she was one of the only people who was still (somewhat) sober - which she agreed to do on one condition: 'Not on the mouth.' Something he agreed on, and I was too 'off' to notice anyway. Nothing special, but I remember her saying things like kissing someone on the lips would alread be referred to as kissing, something I am starting to consider as well.

 

[Jupackazoin]

Hmmm. Good point, although, being above the age of 20 as you are, My opinion on the whole "I was drunk" thing, is one of: What a load of rubbish. Sorry to be so harsh, but no, being drunk IS NOT an excuse for cheating, I don't drink myself, mainly because I know some very bad things that have happened to some of my friends. I sure hope I don't ever hear that excuse from someone close to me, and I'm glad my fiance doesn't drink too Saves us money:
And thanx for the congratulations