Chuck Norris

[Casualty]

nice thread, keep it coming. its cracking me up

 

[BillyTheKid]

http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/

 

[XxxRanciDxxX]

Notice it took every one and hulk hogan to take out Chuck Norris.

 

[s!cKsEeD]

i cant believe chuck lost his virginity before his dad did

I love how when chucks wife asked him if he could say "how much wood could a wood chuck chuck?" and chuck said "How dare u rhyme in the presance of chuck norris!" and his scream was so loud that anyone within a 2 mile radius went deaf

 

[SJsniperjoe]

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

 

[imported_SuXoR]

I don't know wtf you guys are talking about, but it sounds like the SNL "Brasky" skit. LOL

 

[Sortitout]

lol sickseed that second one is 1337!

rofl :lol: :lol:

 

[blze]

Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.


temporary bump:

*Mr. T can only use his power of pity at special times; if he pities someone too intensly they have been known to regain their virginity, spontaneously combust, and even to convert... and sometimes all three.

**Vin Diesel started terrorizing GM headquarters weekly until they introduced the H-7859, a Hummer roughly the size of Neptune.

k, back to chuck---->

 

[Mom's Son]

Chuck Norris takes a bite outta crime.

 

[Machiavelli]

Cars were invented as a greater means to avoid Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident

Chuck Norris was the 4th wiseman and gave Jesus the gift of the beard

 

[Dirty]

He is my dad and one night he kicked off Burt Reynolds mustache, did a back-flip over my grandma and cought the mustache above his mouth. Then did a dance to mimic and mock Burt, lifted his head and ate the mustache like a ravenous lion!!!

 

[Deviant]

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

 

[Swearengen]

...was indicted for murder when 3 girls' uteruses exploded during filming of the porn movie "Fistings of Fury".

...was acquitted of all charges because the gloves didnt fit.

 

[MoneyShot]

...was indicted for murder when 3 girls' uteruses exploded during filming of the porn movie "Fistings of Fury".

...was acquitted of all charges because the gloves didnt fit.

you got that wrong, he was aquitted after staring at the jury until they round-house kicked themselves to a verdict.

 

[Animal Mother]