That's weird...what that girl and Flad can do...[/b]
Not that weird anymore when you're used to it. I can't remember the time when I wasn't able to do all those moves with my hands and arms. Though I must admit I can't lay my fingers flat on the back of my hand anymore... I still can, but not without pain anymore.
Anyways, love/like is over-rated. It's like taking a step into a hole. Fall for another, and you dig yourself deeper.
[/b]
I don't agree. Not only is love (or like, if you prefer) the strongest motivation I've ever had, it is also the thing I enjoy more than anything else.
I'll tell you something. (
If you don't want to read it, read the conclusion, at the end of the post)Though I cannot remember my thoughts from elementery school and first year of Junior High, I can remember all others. In my first second year of Junior High (I had to redo the second year, my sophomore year) I was motivated by the class I was in. Everyone I got friends with during that time, are still my (best) friends nowadays. Not just that, but without any doubt, we were the best class of the school, and I've never enjoyed school more than back then. Everything was perfect... a bit too perfect, because I didn't make it
My second second year was a lot tougher for me. I didn't have anything to motivate myself with, but I was much more simple minded than I am now. Striving to become classmates of my 'friends' again was all I wanted at that time. I guess that helped me through the start of the year. I had a giant crush on a girl a little after the year started, and that was all motivation I was in need of. But because of my shyness, it wasn't as effective as it could be.
My third year is a year I can only barely remember. That's probably because I never had a clear motivation to go on. To catch up to my friends was something impossible already and I didn't have any idea what I should do when they would graduate and I would stay around alone... except for one of my friends who also had to redo the second year - but got placed in a different class. That I had no proper motivation in my third year was clear to see. Except for one class,
all grades I got were only mediocore, to average.
My fourth year was my most successful year. I graduated that year, after all, with quite high grades and my intelligence was developing quite fast, just like my personality which was on hold for a long time. My appearance stayed the same, unfortunately. I didn't grow much that year either. I got around a whole new area of people, - people I lost contact with mostly, but would gladly reasstablish it whenever possible - and 'friendship' was the motivation I had to go on. When that 'ran out', I also had a specific 'liking' to my next door girl. I started to hang out a lot with her, but slowly learned that she isn't my type, but when that happened, I started to feel different feeling for someone else, though I am able to argue about what kind of feelings they are. Symphatie, or love. Whichever it was, it boosted me and I easily got through that year.
The next year, (College) I was forced to change in personality and mentally because the level of study was completely different. Not just that, but the sudden distance between friends and myself. Luckily for me, girls have always been the strongest motivation I had, and I was in a class full with it. As if that wasn't enough, the girl of last year was completely on my mind and I tried to desperately find her. I got through the year with ease and no problems occured. None at all. All tests got a good grade except for one, but I just didn't get it.
My second year of College was completely different. The girl of those two years ago was out of my thought and the class I was in was completely different from the previous class. The start of the year is always easy, so I didn't really was in need of any motivation to go on. When I started to need it, I started to aim for a certain study course. Unfortunately, halfway the year, I heard what kind of 'demands' are necessary to follow that study. At the moment where I am now (this very moment), I need to study for
at least seven years to stand a very small chance to go to that study course. My complete motivation broke down at that moment, nothing was left of it. That was easily visible to my grades, which dropped from an average of a 7/10 - 8/10 to a 4/10 on average. I scored 1/10's and 2/10's a lot suddenly, even though I tried to do everything about it. I started to study badly, but it didn't help. One day, I didn't sleep, I just kept studying. I scored a 5/10, which isn't enough. Teachers got mad at me because I wasn't 'doing enough', but that isn't true. Fellow students were surprised at my grades as well, especially because I started quite well. Just except for one student, he understood perfectly what happened. He had the exact same problem the previous year of his, and therefore, he had to redo the year.
I fell for a girl three months after I lost my motivation. Don't misunderstand me, it never was my intention to fall for her. I tried to make her a 'motivation point', a reason why I should go on. I guess I wasn't aware that I could fall for her at the same time. Did this work better than the other years? I don't know. I have yet to see. I made the most important test of my year yesterday, so I am going to bet everything on it. I don't want to redo another year... not here, not now, not ever. Only, if I'd lose this motivation, I don't know what will happen.
Conclusion: I can't study from books. I need someone, or something to motivate me in remembering things. 'Liking', or 'Love' was the most powerful motivation I had to get through those years.
