Curse of a loner

[Tenebrae]

I'm a barbarian from modern scotland
[/b]

Booya! Scotland rules!

Anyway, I personally don't like Marilyn Manson (Actually, I think they're probably one of the "evilest" bands I've ever heard), but I don't hold anything against anyone who listens to him.

Going back to an earlier subject in this thread, my "friend" seems to think I'm going gothic, but I don't think he's experienced enough with people that usually hang out in that group to know what he's talking about.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being a really social person. Actually, it's probably very good for you. But I've lived most of my life as a loner, and it's not something I want to change. Like Moagrim said, "I'd rather die myself than live as someone else."
A lot of people I know have told me that I need to change the way I live. I don't think highly of them.
Others, however, particularly a lot of girls I'm really good friends with, have just simply said, "Smile more." And in truth, my standard expression is basically one that says, "Stay out of my way."
I hardly consider smiling more a very big change, so that's no problem, but like I said, it really gets on my nerves when people want me to completely change who I am. A lot of people dislike me because I'm not social, but I have friends who DO like me because I accept people for who they are and don't hold anything against them because of their personality, and those are the friends who I prefer more than the others. The only people I hold anything against are the ones who won't accept others for who they are.

BTW, Fladian's posts may be really long, but I find them to be very enlightening. :yay:

 

[N00byStance]

Moagrim, you didn't get my irony right, they're just some pop casting-band, but teengirls seem to love them and think it is Dark Music...

 

[Undead_Lives]

Meh, I don't listen to metal. Don't see how it's appealing.
Tenebrae, I know someone who is goth (through and through) and unless you left out some crucial details (like you wear white facepaint) then you are not goth.
People are idiots. Get used to it.
I think that'll be my saying

 

[P!nS]

People are idiots. Get used to it.[/b]

so u r
bwahaha

:wtf:

IRL, that's also my opinion :infernal:

 

[Fladian]

Going back to an earlier subject in this thread, my "friend" seems to think I'm going gothic, but I don't think he's experienced enough with people that usually hang out in that group to know what he's talking about.[/b]

I don't hang out with gothics (anymore). But if they are nice people, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment. Back at high school, there used to be a guy in our "group" that was a gothic, not to mention one of the two trouble makers of the school and one of the two students with most influence. Imagine this: the two students with most influence get into a fight with each other. Oh, and yes, that happened. The guy that was in our group, a friend, was kicked off school. Not justified, in my opinion. I still get mad when I think about it.
Anyway, considering his looks. Black nails, every finger (except for one, which I noticed back then) a ring or more... or something bigger (I never figured out what one of those things was, but it covered half of his hand), spiked wrist bands, face paint, strange hair cut and quite black-looking. But all in all, one of the most caring guys I've ever met in my life. It's unfortunate that his life went downhill after being kicked from school.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being a really social person. Actually, it's probably very good for you. But I've lived most of my life as a loner, and it's not something I want to change. [/b]

I started to regret my actions, therefore I wanted to change. When you are starting to regret every thing you do, then there is only one solution. If I never regret the things I did, I would've remained the same person as well. But by regretting things I did, I would become unhappy and if I would become unhappy, I would make the people around me unhappy as well. Perhaps I changed more in order to satisfy the people around me than myself.

Like Moagrim said, "I'd rather die myself than live as someone else."[/b]

I... understand what is meant with it, but despite I agree with it in general, it is not a very fitting quote for me. If I can make someone happy that involves me, no matter how much I have to endure, then it is something I am willing to do. I am a very caring person (a lot less when online), or maybe I was it. If I have to act "differently" in order to make someone happy that I care for, then my decision is quickly made. I don't care for many different people, but those I do care for, those are the people I am willing to do everything for. If that involves "living as someone else," then it is a price I am willing to pay. Just like I don't know what my real voice is anymore.

I hardly consider smiling more a very big change, so that's no problem, but like I said, it really gets on my nerves when people want me to completely change who I am. A lot of people dislike me because I'm not social, [/b]

Like I said, that's because it is hard to understand for those who are more social than yourself. It is no big secret that a lot of doors open when being more social, because contacts immediately spread as well. For those who have been more social for all their lives have a hard time to understand how it would be not to be very social. It's like giving away a limb.
I can't imagine how I would act if I had to change from what I am now. I am extremely happy with how I am now, the only bad part about it is that I still don't have a(n official) girlfriend. I'm a type of guy that starts out quiet, but if you get me started (just like on the forum, come to think of it), you'll be finding a way to stop me from talking. Though my subjects outside the internet are often a tad more interesting than here online. Maybe that's because I'm more direct online than I am outside the internet.

BTW, Fladian's posts may be really long, but I find them to be very enlightening. :yay: [/color]
[/b]

Why thank you.

Perhaps it is being arrogant, but I consider my own true personality interesting and possible to write about. But despite seeing stories about a character with a similar personality, I never managed to finish one. The story I am writing for the Story Contest (read: 'Whatever walks here... walks alone') is about a character that shares a part of my personality as well, only a step or two further in the caring part.

 

[Werewulf]

loner is great, alot of artists r like that, they need solice and solitude at times, and without it, you die from stress.

 

[Moagrim]

Every1 loves scotland,Tenebrae,everyone except from the scots that is (and the english,which,btw we are a different country from us )

@ Fladian,ur post are interesting and probably helpful to those who need it,its better then those mono -syllabic post people put on some forums

@Werewulf,u can be affected by stress all alone,plus complete solitude (which none of u probably are ) can make people go crazy,while having times alone is good at time ,we humans are naturally group animals (if u look at a bunch of people in an open space mostky they will stick close together ) and are meant to hang around with other.But yeah,when I'm drawing or writing songs I find much easier to be alone than with lotsa other people.

 

[Fladian]

Every1 loves scotland,Tenebrae,everyone except from the scots that is (and the english,which,btw we are a different country from us ) [/b]

Hmm... I can't say I dislike Scotland, but I can't really say I like it either. Though I must admit I probably like it more than most other countries... I wonder why.

@ Fladian,ur post are interesting and probably helpful to those who need it,its better then those mono -syllabic post people put on some forums [/b]

No, I just rattle on when I start.
*scratches the back of his head*
Yes, well, uh... thanks for the compliment. ^^

@Werewulf,u can be affected by stress all alone,plus complete solitude (which none of u probably are ) can make people go crazy,while having times alone is good at time ,we humans are naturally group animals (if u look at a bunch of people in an open space mostky they will stick close together ) and are meant to hang around with other.[/b]

Stress can do a lot of things to a person, but it varies from the person how much he, or she can handle. For some people stress can be relieved when they are "having times" on their own, some other want to spend a lot of time with people to relieve it.
When I was too stressed about something - which used to happen two or three times a year - I used to go to a certain spot not too far from where I live. Especially that specific spot made me feel relaxed and got me completely calm. I can't reach it anymore though. They're building things there now.

But yeah,when I'm drawing or writing songs I find much easier to be alone than with lotsa other people.[/b]

When I write stories it doesn't really matter much to me. I always have my radio on (for the DJ's, not the music) when I write and I am often chatting with someone on MSN. But also when I'm doing other kind of stuff, when there are people around me, preferrable friends, I feel relaxed. But I don't need to be relaxed when I draw, so I can do it with, or without people around me.

 

[Moagrim]

Hmm... I can't say I dislike Scotland, but I can't really say I like it either. Though I must admit I probably like it more than most other countries... I wonder why.
[/b]

Coz I'm here maybe?? Maybe u like,ummm....rain,hills,and sheep.

I can draw with other people around me it just helps to be alone,same with my...err,raps (don't laugh,they ain't too bad if i say so myself )That sucks about your "calm spot" thingy, i had that,me and a couple of friends built a hut up in the woods near where I live.And i used to go there alone sometimes,but recently it was hacked to pieces and burnt .

 

[Fladian]

Coz I'm here maybe?? Maybe u like,ummm....rain,hills,and sheep.[/b]

I've seen enough rain here, in the Netherlands. I've had enough of sheeps by now too... though the sex-sheep-toy we bought a friend of mine is something I'll never get tired of, har har. Hills? Nah, I don't think so, and unless you happen to be a girl in disguise, I doubt you're the reason.

I can draw with other people around me it just helps to be alone,same with my...err,raps (don't laugh,they ain't too bad if i say so myself [/b]

I do know what you mean though. When I have to think about something intensively, (not really mattering what) I prefer to do so in silence with as less people as possible. But that has to a very extreme situation in that case, such as trying to get over the loss of someone who recently died or so.
During tests at school or so, I prefer to have some music on or people talking... well, in my case, both are the same, sort of.

That sucks about your "calm spot" thingy, i had that,me and a couple of friends built a hut up in the woods near where I live.And i used to go there alone sometimes,but recently it was hacked to pieces and burnt .
[/b]

It was to be expected in my case. If they didn't start to build something there, I couldn't get there always anyway. I must admit that I still found it a special... spot. It was nothing much, but only when I stood at that specific spot, I could relax completely. If I would take a step forward, to the left, right or whatever, the feeling would disappear. I am not superstitious at all, but I can't give a logical explanation either. It's a shame that I found out how special it was to me when it disappeared.
If I really want to write, have nothing to do, and can't continue, I tend to go a place not far from where I live. It's beneath a bridge and except for every half an hour that a train comes by, it's quite a quiet and calm place. The people who pass by usually look cheery, and it's dry when it rains. I don't come there too often though, but I usually don't want to write that eagerly or have enough free time to do so. It's unfortunate about that hut though.

 

[Moagrim]

Nope,sorry,unfortunately (for you,I enjoy being male ) I'm not a girl in disguise.The only other things I can think of that are good over here are:Whiskey,shortbread,haggis (they're not wee creatures) and Irn Bru maybe you like them ?

On topic (kinda):My hut type thing was smashed down once before but we went back up and re-built it then they burnt it for good this time Now I find the walk from my normal house to my dad's (where I am now,bout 2 miles from normal house,I think ) extremely relaxing,espicially if I have music in,I can completely Lose all consciousnous of the world around me (I almost got ran over once,well.... :/ )Its even better at night, I walked it at 12 midnight before,but had to turn off my music at one point because I thought I heard....growling behind me :/ .

Yeah,I'm the same with writing or drawing (hence why I have posted none),not that eager to do so,atm,it's basically School,Computer,Social Life,Bed for me

 

[Undead_Lives]

basically School,Computer,Social Life,Bed for me [/b]

Exclude Social Life, and you basically have my life as well
Oh, and btw Flad, I dress quite a bit like you. I usually wear black, dark blue, blue or gray.
Finally, loners and goths are very different. Some goths are even social :/

 

[Fladian]

Nope,sorry,unfortunately (for you,I enjoy being male ) I'm not a girl in disguise. [/b]

Looks like I'm out of luck again. On the other hand, like I said earlier somewhere else; I don't think I'm the type of person that goes for someone when such a dist... oh, never mind.

The only other things I can think of that are good over here are:Whiskey,shortbread,haggis (they're not wee creatures) and Irn Bru maybe you like them ?[/b]

Not that either. Doesn't really matter anyway.

Now I find the walk from my normal house to my dad's (where I am now,bout 2 miles from normal house,I think ) extremely relaxing,espicially if I have music in,I can completely Lose all consciousnous of the world around me (I almost got ran over once,well.... :/ )Its even better at night, I walked it at 12 midnight before,but had to turn off my music at one point because I thought I heard....growling behind me :/ .[/b]

I know exactly what you mean, but I haven't felt that way in a long, long time. I've tried to feel the same way like that again, but everything I did was only to try to replace it. I never really found the same feeling again; despite never really being sure when I did feel the real thing. The only thing that I might know that could trigger that feeling again is something I have been striving to for the last two years but with a real intention only for the last few months. Unfortunately for the people on this forum. When I am right of what I think, then I won't be here to share it any longer.
When I was at that one spot I felt relaxed and calm, but I didn't forget about the things around me. I only became calm and relaxed, while I could worry about all kind of stuff in the mean time.

Yeah,I'm the same with writing or drawing (hence why I have posted none),not that eager to do so,atm,it's basically School,Computer,Social Life,Bed for me
[/b]

Unfortunately, my life isn't too much different from that either. I'll give some more details with it:
1. Wake up, and listen to my favorite morning DJ and do the morning stuff.
2. Go to work.
3. Come home, and eat dinner.
4. Checks forums, talks to some people online, listen to some more to the radio.
5. Go to bed.
And then the day starts all over again. So... ^^

EDIT:

Oh, and btw Flad, I dress quite a bit like you. I usually wear black, dark blue, blue or gray.[/b]

Now that the temprature is high enough here, it does changes a little for me. A lot more white, light blue and dark green gets in the picture.

 

[Undead_Lives]

Not for me I still wear black in the middle of a heat wave
Heat doesn't affect me so much.

 

[Fladian]

It's just don't have many black shirts. Most are either white, blue or grey.